Today, I missed church... Again... That's twice in a row and I can't describe to you the grief in my heart everytime I didn't go. It's the 2nd day of August, 5 days after my baptism anniversary and I still feel that I'm not living to my expectations. I'm gonna be 18 soon (bday's on the 11th) and what have I been doing from the time I set foot on this earth till now? Nothing much really.. More precisely, nothing really good. I take trials and error very well in a good spirit, but guess I'm just too dumb and numb as I tend to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. I'm sick of it... I really am. I hate it when I know my imperfection and I every I do to correct myself goes to no avail.
All my life I strive to do things the "right way". But it seems everytime I try, it becomes "wrong". I know I'm meant to live for so much more. I have a vision, a passion and no matter what circumstances I face, it keeps on burning. Though it's like candle in the wind, this candle never seem to go off no matter what. In my heart I know things will be better, it's just the matter of patience *something i really lack in*. I do pray O Lord, that You move Your hand over this land, over my church and over my youth that I truely love dearly. Fan those flames and fuel the passion that drives us all to You O Lord. Let us fulfill our purpose in this life. We're meant to live for You. Amen.
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