empty

empty worlds

There's a song that keeps playing in my mind for the pass few days. It's Greenday's Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Somehow the song kept playing with the feelings of my heart and it makes me so egoistic and emo at the same time. But when the self-pity sinks in - I feel pathetic. Maybe I am, I dunno. I hate when self-pity gets to me. It makes me weak and it gives me doubt. As if I don't already have a lot on my mind huh? Sickens me.

But the truth is I feel empty. I truly do. I smile because I've been smiling in front of people all the time. I leave my sadness at home and it comes when I'm alone. I'm empty.

I decided to put in my jars of clay CD to listen in my room while I'm studying for my Math Technique 2 paper, that starts at 9am - today. Then came along a song that snapped me out of the emo mood of mine and made me remember who I really am all along. The soft sound of a plucking guitar and soothing melody. I prayed to God and ask Him to take this song as my prayer. He did.

jars of clay
worlds apart

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide

With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
To give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of One who loves
More deeply than the ocean more abundant than the tears
Of a world that's embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice?
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

Take my world apart
I am on my knees
Take my world apart
Broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did You really have to die for me?
For all I am for all You are
What I need and what I believe are worlds apart
So I pray

Take my world apart
I am on my knees
Take my world apart
Broken on my knees
On my knees

I look beyond the empty cross forgetting what my life has cost
So wipe away the crimson stains and dull the nails that still remains
More and more I need You now I owe You more each passing hour
Battle between grace and pride I gave up not so long ago

So steal my heart and take the pain wash my feet and cleanse my pride
Take the selfish take the weak and all the things I cannot hide
Take my beauty take my tears
Sin and soaked heart make it Yours
Take my world all apart
Take it now and take it now
And serve the ones that I despise speak the words I can't deny
Watch the world I use to know fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross forgetting what my life has cost
So wipe away the crimson stains and dull the nails that still remains
Take my beauty take my tears
Sin and soaked heart make it Yours and all the things I cannot hide
Take my beauty take my tears
Take my world apart
Take my world apart
And I pray and I pray
Take my world apart
Yes world apart