the excuse for love

Picture this:-

Guy stares at juicy succulent piece of char siew on the plate. Turns attention to lovely girlfriend, who's eating normally. Uses chop-sticks to pick up thick-gravy coated char siew. Mouth starts to water as he imagine sinking his teeth into juicy char siew. Snaps out of it and diverts attention to lovely girlfriend. Looks down at his prize, gives it to lovely girlfriend.

Girl : Eh? I thought you liked juicy succulent gravy char siew?

Guy : No larrr. Today stomach not feeling well. You take it lorr. It's nice.

Girl : Sure or not.. So fake one?

Guy : *smiles* Sure larr 'ling (short for darling). Stomach not feeling well.

Girl : *pauses* Thanx 'ling (read top).

sin hoe foodcourt bukit baru

That's the usual scenario of couples giving excuses to give something they like a lot to their loved ones instead of keeping it for themselves. I was reminded about it today when my dad gave my mom a piece of sliced fish (marinated with special herbs and spices) saying he's full already and then continues to finish the other half of his bowl.

the man with the iron stall - brother lai

It's funny how we as humans express our love to others. Doesn't have to be a couple-relationships, it can be brotherly love or even as good friends. We give away something we like to the other, together with an excuse of why we don't want it. Call it a sort of sacrifice, big or small. In the end, it's an act of love.

Yes, love. A word that has been torn asunder and twisted by the darkside media of the world we live in today. Something that holds an enormous value has been made so cheap as if it could be bought - overused and meaningless in every sense of the way. It seems we're so caught up with the world that we forgotten something that's more than just a word to us - love.

steven curtis chapman
all about love

We've got CDs, tapes and videos, radios and TV shows
Conferences, retreats and seminars
We've got books and magazines to read on everything from A to Z
And a web to surf from anywhere we are
But I hope with all this information buzzing through our brains
That we will not let our hearts forget the most important thing is

Love love love love love ...it's all about
Love love love love love
Everything else comes down to this
Nothing any higher on the list than love
It's all about love

Now they're fighting in the Middle East and they're fighting down on 7th street
And there are fights in my own house on given days
It's like something's lurking deep inside that can't seem to be satisfied
But life was not meant to be lived this way
'Cause it's true for every man and woman, every boy and girl
That our only hope for living here together in this world is ...

Love love love love love ...it's all about
Love love love love love
Everything else comes down to this
Nothing any higher on the list than love

This is the reason we were made
To know the love of our creator
And to give the love He's given us away
Yeah, the Maker and the Father and the God of everything
He says to ...

Love love love ... He says love love love
Love love love ... 'cause after all it's all about love
God says ...

Love love love love love ...it's all about
Love love love love love
Everything else comes down to this
Nothing any higher on the list than love
'cause after all it's all about love

who wipes??

"Yay for the school holidays!!"

And I wonder why I just said that. I guess I feel happy for those "poor" school going children who's gonna enjoy to weeks (only) worth of holiday - lucky them. 2 months is a killer I tell ya, driving every single mmu-ian's soul (or just mine) to the brink death in the hands of the unstoppable boredom that comes invading like an army of fire ants to a hapless lizard that is taped to a mango tree. *smiles* The saddest part is that lizards are hard to come by these days. They must have an insider in this house, informing them of my presence. "Hmmmm... Dangerous this situation is. A traitor we have in our midst. Use the force we must." *slaps yoda in the head* Dumb Starwars hype..

Some people are taking it easy though. My bro seems to be able to fill is time.. somehow. He always has something to do. On days that he doesn't, he still looks like he has something to do. Such an awesome skill that everyone should acquire. I myself am practicing the art of "doing something". Hopefully such knowledge can be passed on to future generations. Finally, something worthwhile to do eh?

i am a...

Your #1 Match: ESTP

The Doer You are adventurous and risk taking. You act first, think second. You love being the center of attention. Chances are you were the class clown. Competitive, charming, and charasmatic - you have your own code of honor. You live a flexible life, bouncing between a series of activies that interest you. You would make a great salesperson, marketing director, or entrepreneur.

Your #2 Match: ENTP

The Visionary You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression. You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything. Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off. You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments. You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

What's Your Personality Type?

letting go?

im all out of love.. im so lost without you.. bla bla bla bla..

Who am I kidding? I'm filled with love! Right.. Can't back that up with words. They say an idle mind is the devils workshop and by golly they're right. *sigh* Aside from convertingcoolvideoclipsinto.aviformatsothatitcouldbeplayedonmyphone *breathes* I've been wondering a lot about my so-called "acomplishments". A sad fact that I've practically acomplish nothing worth mentioning.

I've been having weird dreams for the pass couple of days. For all that I can remember, my dreams were basically about one thing - me failing. Failing not as in academic wise or that sort but just basically failing. Like failing my parents, failing my brother, failing those people that I care for and love. The worst part is that in those dreams, I know I could do those things but no matter what, I couldn't - I failed them. Imagine waking up feeling like a failure for the past 3 to 4 days.

Such a worthless burden I carry with me. But to others, my burden is means a lot to them. I unconciously carry their burden hoping to lessen their worries and sorrow. Futile effort it may seem but I have the comfort of knowing that I did what I could.

3 Doors Down
Let Me Go

One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you dont know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm goin through

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you dont know who I am
So let me go
Just Let me goo...
Let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
I knowww..
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows

You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you dont know Who I am
So let me go
Just let me go

and you me but you dont
you love me but you dont
you love me but you dont know who I am
and you love me but you dont
you love me but you dont
you love me but you dont know me

Empire Strikes Back - Director's Cut

Got this from Friendster Bulletin Board. Funny..


Darth Vader vs Luke Skywalker

A furious light sabre duel is under way. DARTH
VADER is backing LUKE
SKYWALKER toward the end of the gantry.

A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It
goes spinning off into the
ventilation shaft.

Luke looks round, but realizes there's nowhere to
go but straight down.

DARTH VADER: "Obi Wan never told you what
happened to your father."

LUKE: "He told me enough! He told me you killed
him!"

DARTH VADER: "No! I am your father!"

LUKE: "No, that's not true! That's impossible."

DARTH VADER: "Search your feelings; you know
it to be true."

LUKE: "NO!"

DARTH VADER: "Yes, it is true and you know
what else? You know that queer
brass droid of yours?"

LUKE: "Threepio?"

DARTH VADER: "Yes, Threepio, I built him when I
was 7 years old."

LUKE: "No."

DARTH VADER: "Seven years old! And what have
you done? Look at yourself, no
hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own
ship out of the swamp."

LUKE: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!"

DARTH VADER: "When you were 20! When I was
10, I single-handedly destroyed a
Trade Federation Droid Control ship!"

LUKE: "Well, it's not my fault."

DARTH VADER: "Oh, here we go. 'Poor me, my
father never gave me what I
wanted for my birthday, boo hoo, my daddy's the
Dark Lord of the
Sith...waahhh wahhh!' You make me sick."

LUKE: "Shut up!"

DARTH VADER: "You're a slacker! By the time I
was your age, I had
exterminated the Jedi Knights!"

LUKE: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's
Canyon!"

DARTH VADER: "Oh, for the love of God, 10 years
old, winner of the Boonta
Eve Open. Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer,
right here baby!"

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it.

DARTH VADER: "I was wrong. You're not my kid. I
don't know whose you are,
but you sure ain't mine. Get out of my sight, you
loser!"

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then
plunges down the shaft.
Darth Vader looks after him.

DARTH VADER: "AND GET A HAIRCUT!"

a very very very quick one

*start*

mango juice~! mango juice~! mango juice~! mango juice~!

*stop*

everybody run!!! go for the hills and take cover!!

*stop*

no game to play - bored larrr

*stop*

need... anime... manga... oh no... i... i...

*stop*

hey~ there's a dead cat behind (it wasn't me)

*stop*

now turn to the dark side.. becareful not to burn the steak though

*stop*

sum 41's pieces is an interesting piece - lame

*stop*

stef's a mom!!

*stop*
*end*

ann na : guys are so dumb

my latest desktop

Out of my deadly boredom, I finally came around and decided to do something useful with my life (besides making a new desktop wallpaper). It was quite sudden actually, waking up all energize for a new day and a new hope. So the first useful thing that came to my mind was,

*drum roll*

Watch Star Wars III : Revenge Of The Sith!! Ahaks~ The irritating thing about the title of episode 3 is that I keep mixing it up with The Sith Lords. Yea yea, so Knights Of The Old Republic II sucks big time especially with the seriously disappointing ending. Where did Revan and the Exile go?!! Damn you lousy developers!! *breathes*

Sooo where was I? Oh yea~ Talking about doing something useful with my life aka watch Star Wars III : Revenge Of The Sith. Did I tell you that I keep mixing... nevermind. Bleh~ I believe nobody in their right mind would go watch a movie in the cineplex alone. It's hard to imagine a person would go watch a movie all alone. Must be one of those anti-social dudes. Sad case. I definitely can't watch alone, therefore I asked the person whom woke me up for no bloody reason - my bro. He said okay but behind those words, any Tom Dick and Harry (or Tom's Harry Dick as my father would put it) would know that he's reluctant. Dunno why though.. weird. So I messaged a person whom I haven't gone out with for a very very very long time - Ann Na.

I sent the message at 12.04pm. The fact that she was still in school that time didn't cross my mind at all until my bro pointed it out to me. Gosh~ I've lost track of schooling time already. Hehe~ She called me back at 1.20pm. Exchanged a few messages, tried to call Rebekah and Vera but couldn't get through their phone (forgotten about them schooling again.. sigh). Wanted to call Sandra but too bad, she's in K.L. enjoying herself. *stares with envy* Exchange a few more messages, called GSC aka Golden Screen Cinema and booked tickets for the 3.50pm show and so, it was set.

We were quite early so I followed her around as she needed to shop for some important stuffs. Actually she was looking for a skirt but to her it's important as she needed to wear it for her performance later next month. Women.. can't understand them. Ahaks~ She bought a purple skirt and it so happens that she was wearing a purple shirt-thingy. Talk about matching colors huh? It seems she's doing some vocal training *and the crowd goes wild!!*. Before we knew, it was time to go into the cineplex.

Obi Wan : You were the Chosen One!!
Anakin : You betrayed me!!
Obi Wan : *stares with soft eyes* You were like a brother.. I.. I loved you!!
Anakin : Wh.. Why didn't you that before.
Obi Wan : *pauses* Because our love is forbidden in the Jedi Order.

We made a whole bunch of jokes but I made most of the gay ones. Hahahaha~ I felt a little embarrassed, throughout the whole show we were the ones laughing at all the small things - no thanks to our wide imagination. Okay, so I don't feel embarrassed but I have to put it in anyway or it'll make me look like I'm some kinda thick-skinned fella. *long pause* Hahahahahah~ Alas~ I'm complete for I'm now one with force. Yeah right. All I have to do now is to look out for good quality DVDs. Muahahahah~ Ann Na keep saying how guys so dumb to fall into that kinda trap just like Anakin. I had to explain to her how guys would do ANYTHING for their loved ones - including sacrificing themselves. With that it sparked a heated debate that never ended.

But to really understand what the Jedi and the force is all about, one really have to play all those Star Wars games like Knights Of The Old Republic which takes place 3000 years before Anakin and Jedi Knights that takes place after the last episode - Luke has his own Jedi Academy! With that, my knowledge of the force is complete.

Bleh~

rant boy! rant!

Run around, screaming my lungs out to try to get to you - but you shut your phone off. Bleh~ Since when talking nonsense was part of me?! Actually all the time. After all I did have a monkey for a chicken and a fish for a dog.

*slaps head with salmon*

MIRC also not as bad. *silence* Okay, so MIRC is boring, just like ICQ - sooo impractical. What day is it? And in what month this clock never seemed so alive. Actually, it never was alive. My clock's battery died yesterday.

arghh!!

10 more days!! Just 10 more days God!! Bring me through this 10 days of boredom and death!! Why death? Dunno, had to put something besides boredom or else this post won't make any sense. It doesn't.

*rings* - i tear my heart open..

Nobody's calling - I just play the tone because I like it. Bleah~ When Philip comes back to Malacca, I'll be taking all his anime again! Muahahahahahaha- *koff koff* Gundam Seed Destiny. I've missed out a lot but I believe my patience will be worth my while. Dammit! He told me that Athrun died! Not that I care, I feel that Kira and I are much alike.

*sips coffee*

Sippy sippy sippy. What a name. Reminds me how dumb Malaysian TV's translation for R2-D2. How can you spell R2-D2 as Artoo Detoo??!!! ARGHHH!!! Dumb imbeciles! You arrogant fool!! *ahem~* I'm not saying your name is not nice sippy - it's just too cute for you. Ahaks~

*remembering good ol' Return Of The Jedi*

"You shall pay for your lack of vision..." *shoots lightning at dumb translators* "Father!! Help meeeeeeeeee...." *dies* Yay~ Quick! Shoot the censorship board too! *zapp~* "Ack~". Finally, Malaysia is freed from lousy translator and dumb censors.

*puts Darth Vader down*

D.Vader : Luke.. take off my mask..
Luke : But you'll die...
D.Vader : Nothing.. can stop that now.. For once, I want to look at you with my own eyes..
*takes off mask*
Luke : Wait! You're not my dad!
*gropes*
M.J. : You look sooo cute when you say that *winks*
Luke : NOOOooooooooooo...

*the end*

rinyu - repetition

I didn't sleep the whole Saturday night and it felt rather strange. I was watching my old Full Metal Panic? fumoffu anime till it was around 3am. After that, when I tried to sleep, I couldn't. The first few minutes felt like an eternity of lying on my bed, doing absolutely nothing. Frustrated, I walked to the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee to help me sleep. Crash the bed again - still couldn't sleep. Now that's weird.

3.45 am

I lay there motionless; my body felt like it was slowly falling down a dark spiral. My shouts for help were silent screams. It was as if the darkness formed a sort of vacuum. I watched as my hands turned from light brown, fade to grey. Soon it was complete darkness. My fist slammed against the wall and I find myself on my bed again. I hope it doesn't repeat. I wasn't afraid but instead, I was annoyed.

4.20 am

Unable to cope with the silence, I picked my guitar up and strum a few chords. No song in particular except one - worlds apart by jars of clay. It was the concert version where there was only one guitar plucking the song. Soon myriads of memories crossed over each other. I remembered how I bought the album from Un Nelson at Canaan Home. Thinking of the album my thoughts brought me forward to the time I was in K.L. and how I struggled to find Switchfoot's latest album, The Beautiful Letdown. I recalled that I went there with SP, a girl whom I silently miss. I remember the fond memories, the laughter and the tears she shed. Frustration and anger at myself.

6.15 am

There's a cat making noise at the back of my house. At first the noise didn't seemed to bother me until I started thinking about it. I imagined a cat giving birth to a cute little kitten and that same little kitten was chasing after a small lizard. I appeared in front of the lizard, caught it, set it on fire and watched as it runs around in agony and pain. The kitten laughed. There I was on my bed. Thinking about crap and imagining nonsense, aggravating myself for no reason - I laughed.

7.20 am

Was trying to count how many ticks are there from the clock on my wall. 60 ticks. I slapped my forehead and bit my arm. Slapped my forehead again because I bit too hard. Switched on the room light and I was eloped by the brightness. It was as if someone threw a flashbang right in front of me. I hate it when they do that. I started to count the scars on my body instead. 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 17.. 21.. *pauses* The number doesn't seem to have any end. Feeling frustrated I sat up and peered into the mirror in front of me. *gasp!!*

Me

true to the tune

I've been making lots of True Tunes lately. Just in case you know not what True Tunes are, it's basically a ring-tone for Nokia phones like my 3650 and it's in .wav format. It fascinating how I can now custom make my favourite ring-tone; this song for this fellow, very rough, this song for this bunch of people, cool and rocking, etc etc. I use two programs (forgot their names), one to format and edit the song so that I can blend in the first chorus and merge it with the last chorus so that it sounds as if the song is meant to be played that way, making it sound short and great. The second program converts the .mp3 file to a .wav file and from there all I have to do is transfer it to my phone and walah~! It sounds gooood.

But formatting and editing the song isn't an easy task. Should I want to merge the chorus together, I have to make sure the beats are the same and that it goes well with the song so that it doesn't sound weird. A few of my friends have heard my ring-tone but what they don't know is that, I've edit a lot of it but it's done in such a way that it's difficult to pin point exactly which part I edit. Muahahahaahha~

So far I've done a few True Tunes for myself.

Simple Plan
Addicted
Perfect

Goo Goo Dolls
Iris

Three Doors Down
Here Without You

Sum 41
Handle This
Pieces

Fenix TX
All My Fault

Box Car Racer
There Is

Yellow Card
Only One

Greenday
Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Papa Roach
Scars

Michelle Branch
Everywhere

Arvil Larvign
Complicated

Lifehouse
Hanging By A Moment
You And Me

Switchfoot
Dare You To Move
Meant To Live

And the rest are Christian True Tunes.

UNITED
All Day
One Way
Now That You're Near
Shine For You
Where the Love Lasts Forever
Free
More Than Life

Planet Shakers (PS)
All I Want Is You
Closer To You
Everything To Me
Lift Up Your Eyes
Reflector
Rescue Me

jars of clay
Love Song For A Savior

Steven Curtis Chapman
See The Glory

Pillar
Fireproof
Frontline

There is more over the other computer but I'm lazy to check. Wahhkakakaka~

*sigh~*

when the train stops

wake up gordon.. wake up.. and smell the ashes

"Why me? Why am I always getting into trouble? Why is everyone depending on me? Who am I to help them?" He muttered as he holds the gun closer to his chest. So much for encouragement. City 17, He has barely known this so called city and now it's in ruins. Back against the wall, lets off a few rounds from a shiny new toy that he recently got for himself - the Combine's own Pulse Rifle. The right tool for the right man.

*BOOM!!*

"Dammit!" He grimaces in pain as he pulls the shrapnel out. This one's deep. With one hand on his leg, he fires a few more rounds in hopes to keep the enemy at bay. An unconventional scientist, he keeps the morale of the rebels around him high. To them, he's the fearless man whom escaped from Black Mesa and is now here to liberate them from the clutches of the Combine. But deep down in him - fear exist and he knows it all to well.

Striders, the 50-foot-tall, walking, organic tank that fires devastating bursts and can spear you with one of its legs if you get too close. It easily tramples on the poor rebel that stands in its way. He doesn't know how he's able to use a rocket launcher and the arsenal of weapons but somehow he can, and it freaks him out on bad nights. He fires the rocket, painting the strider with the laser from the launcher guiding the rocket to its target. He jumps away avoiding the massive explosion as the beast comes falling down. The rebels rejoice as they're now able to live a few hours longer thanks to one man, a theoretical physicist from Black Mesa in his hazard suit -

Gordon Freeman.

Ofcourse, he wouldn't have made it through Black Mesa and the crushing forces of the Combine without the help of me, Andrew Liu. The man who guided him thoughout the whole 15 to 20 hours of the game - yes, I counted.

wrong turn.. into the house of wax *gasp~!*

I've been reading a lot of the old Phases magazine recently. Maybe it's just something that I have to do to get myself off the computer every now and then. Sloppy guy have I become. Need things to do to get off the computer I must. Sorry, that was the Star Wars hype getting into me. I've lost my brain to those darn heard-crabs in half-life 2. Only Gordon Freeman can save me but he's too busy defeating the Combine and making out with those zomebies (eewwwww..) and thus I can't really write anything funny or nice a few days ago. But something interesting did happen to my bro and me today - we got lost.

After playing a game of snooker at The Malacca Club (it's free after all) we were heading back home but this time, we strangely decided to take a different route back instead. We usually travel that route during the night. After working out at the club with my family, dad would take the route back. Bro was driving his car that was nearly, undoubtedly, seriously empty. So we were heading down the road until we reached a t-junction with another road going towards the right side. I told my bro, "We're supposed to turn here right?". He looked blank faced. When he was turning in the junction he suddenly turn back to the left. "No larr~ I think it's straight". I doubted but still, I wanted to see where the road would lead to.

We carried on - blindly. It was a straight road all the way with no turnings at all. There were small roads going into unknown jungle settlements though. Soon, the road became smaller, from a a two-way road with tar, it became one way, and smaller, and smaller, until the point we were driving on dirt road. We could've easily turn back but the thought of it didn't cross our minds. We venture on deeper into the strange kampung. "I don't remember seeing this" I said and both of us burst into laughter. From that point on we started cracking a bunch of jokes about our surroundings and laughed and laughed so much so the fact that we were lost didn't bother us.

After journeying deeper into this kampung that could be inhabited by a bunch of serial-killers or rapist-chicks *bro smiles*, we came across a few roads that split into two and then I started quoting the first lines from Form 4's (i think) 'The Road Not Taken', "Two road diverge into.. ". We burst out laughing again. When the radio was playing a nice rock tune, we would purposely do head-bangs and watch the kampung people's reaction. At last, we reached a dead end. We looked at each other with seriousness in our eyes.. and burst out laughing again. I can't tell if it's content of the air that's filled with laughing gas produced by the kampung people's farts or that we were just in a good mood. My bro quirked, "Okay, okay, enough of laughing. If we reach another dead end we won't have enough fuel to reach home". I paused for a moment and told him the Mc Donald advertisement about the a few guys in a car when it suddenly went out of gas, instead of pushing it to the nearest gas station, they pushed it to a Mc Donald outlet and grabbed a burger. We burst out laughing again.

To make him feel better (not that he was feeling down) I gave him a tip, if a maze has one entrance and one exit, put your hand on the right wall and keep walking - you'll reach the exit eventually. But in our case, our fuel wasn't sufficient to do that but thanks to our precise, undeniable sense of direction, we got out and head back home.

Burst into laughter.

where's the angel

is he an angel?

These days are hard and times are getting harder. A few months ago it was my personal problems. Now it seems it's my family's problem. I have no clue what-so-ever if it's serious or not. Though most of the time everyone is silent, I can feel the problem brewing slowly beneath us - beneath my family. I'm worried. I really am. Though I can comfort myself with scriptures from the Bible, it's still there.

I recall how when Jesus and his disciples were walking and they came across a blind men sitting down at the side of the pathway. One of His disciple asks if the cause of his blindness was his sin or his parent's sin. Jesus said neither but he is blind so that the glory of the Son of Man will be shown through this blind person. He was healed and Jesus, glorified.

I wonder if it's the same case for my family. Is this shroud of tribulations the penalty of my sin? Will we somehow survive through these invisible episodes of problems and live to glorify God? I don't know and will never know till it's over - when it's over. Words gives comfort and comfort relieves, but prayer is power in every sense of it. I wonder, where's the angel who prays for my family. Is he praying for us, for my family? Who else prays for us? Who? *silence*

where's the kingdom of heaven?

is it here?

Originally my bro and I was supposed to go out to catch a movie the day before yesterday but I guess we were too busy with.. stuffs. *ahem* To make up for a long time of no-show in the cinema, we went to catch the latest movie who's main character is acted by the now chubby-fat Legolas-without-pointy-ears. If my sources are right, it seems he got kicked out of Elf School. Hahahaha~ Die vegetarian!

or is it here?

Last night, we slept after 6am. Don't ask us what we did because I really can't, exactly, 100 percently remember. Yea.. But it's got something to do with me hunting him in the midst of 10 other terrorist. He succeeded in killing me a few times only but I was naturally a sharp-shooter. Bahh~ We quickly went to bed after hearing my mom's voice in the toilet. Yes, she wakes up at 6am to do her quiet time (we are ashamed). I tucked myself lifelessly in bed hoping to evade the deathly scolding that would come out from her mouth if she caught us still awake but unfortunately for me, she came into my room with a whip demanding that I moved the car that's blocking the main entrance. It seems she getting called to the hospital at such an hour really ticked her off. I was in her way. *sigh* After she left I dropped dead on my bed. My hand phone alarm was set to ring at 10am. The time was 6.30am. Grreeaat!!

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!

Okay, it was more like,
beep.. Beep.. BEep.. BEEp.. BEEP.. BEEEEP.. BEEEEEP!!
Any longer and it would walk up to me and slap my head a few times.

"I'm waking up in such an ungodly hour..", were my first thoughts. Hhaahahah~ I went to my bro's room and tried to wake him up too. He didn't - I slept on his floor. Woke up 30 minutes later and went back to my room. This time, I sat the alarm at 12pm and I motivated myself to wake up at the exact time and I did. I'm proud of it too. Ahaks~ Woke my bro up, hurried him to get dressed and the rest of the day will be summarize by my bro. Go read his blog.

Nah~ I'm kidding. Read mine! Hahahahaha~

By the time we left the house, it was already 12.30pm. And for some weird, unknown, mysterious reason, we are hungry.. VERY hungry. Bro quickly went to pick Sandra up. In front of her house, bro wanted to bet to see if I would to sit in the back, would she sit behind with me or in front with him. I ignored him naturally. Went to pick up my cuz too and we were off the ODEAN - the only place where we would eat western food (or not). Ordered my fish 'n' chips only to find out that they don't have tar tar sauce. *gasp~!* Which dumb place would serve fish 'n' chips without tar tar sauce? But hunger got the best of me and I ate it anyway.

spot the dot - everyone's favourite game

Went to MP to visit good ol' Stephanie who is the cf's sampat girl with the mole - think Austin Powers going "Mooooole.. Mooooole.. Nice to mole you". I'm bad and I know it. After buying tickets for the 3.45pm Kingdom Of Heaven show, we went to Mc D's to munch on some fries and gulp down some refillable Cokes (bro convinced me to go to Mc D with the refills thingy). Boredom set in quick and we knew we got to "get outta there!!", so says Arnie.

my cuz and her new iban style

We were in Cineplex 3, which happens to be better than the rest (because i'm sitting in it.. hahahah). Kingdom of Heaven is a good show. It's rather historically correct. The script writer wrote it so close to the actual history so much so that those characters like Balian or Guy de Blabla exists - seriously. I did my homework after all. Those corrupted, sesated, so-called Christian priest made a really big mess that now will forever reside in the dark pages of Christian's history. I was quite pissed at two parts of the show where at the earlier part, a priest said, "Killing a infidel is the path to heaven" and nearing the end where Jerusalem is almost defeated, "Convert to muslim, repent later". Those two really pissed me off. It shows how cowardice and out of track those "Christians" were. But it's true none-the-less and it serves a reminder to us, present generation of Christians to be careful not to repeat such mistakes in the future.

or is it up there?

im not a sadist - im.. special...

it burns!! it burns!!

It's not that I hate lizards or anything. I mean, I love animals. That's a definite 'yes'. If my mom would let me keep a dog, my house would be full of it (too bad it's not). And it's because my mom doesn't let the 3 males in the house to keep dogs, we resort to other *ahem* exotic pets. But aside from my love of animals, I do go for cicak hunting sessions as a hobby. Yup~ The domestic lizards commonly called cicak in Malaysia is my only prey. Those big-eyed yellow/brown lizards would lurk around dark corners of my house and shit everywhere. By killing them, not only do I indirectly help clean the house, I give those poor poor insects another chance in the game of life.

me hunter, you prey - dumb orcs

This time I caught one lurking inside a plastic bag with a mango seed. It was having such a nice time nibbling on the already eaten mango seed, that I couldn't help but intrude - I caught it easily. At first, I wanted to electrocute it like how I would normally administer the punishment to other cicaks but I this one was special. Okay, maybe it's not special but I wanted to practice my creative rights. After stunning him with the electric bat aka The Zapper my prey was brought to the bathroom where the whole torture process will be carried out.

My bro's Zippo refill can come really handy in many situations (Zippo is a brand of lighters in case you're wondering). I sprayed the flammable substance all over the stunned lizard and made a trail so that I can burn it from a safe distance. As I grabbed the match-stick, the lizard made a dash away from the pool of on-coming death. I caught it and threw the lizard hard on the wall. Now THAT really stunned it. Placed it back in the circle of fire, lit the match and threw it slow-motion style unto the trail. It caught fire in an instant and boy was it a sight to behold. It tried to run but soon, the flames overcame it and it died a horrendous death. I could hear it scream in pain and agony, either that or the sound must have came from its cooked body popping.

*silence*

when the excitement halts

that pc took a chunk of space from my room

After waiting for such a very long time through harsh winters and blazing summers, from the floods to sore drought, my patience was paid well. I finally have a computer to call my own. Yeap~ The long lost computer who lost it's hard drive is back with a kickin' new 80GB Maxton hard disk. One small little problem - I don't have a desk to put it on top. The solution? Use whatever junk you can find in your room. This is when Kemahiran Hidup comes to remarkable use. Okay, maybe it's not THAT remarkable but it does get the job done. Took my old extension plug and my old mini hi-fi set to be the computer's speakers. The left speaker becomes the base for the keyboard and the right speaker, for the mouse. It looks pretty decent but it's really uncomfortable sitting on a marble floor to do your computer works.

Another thing is the problem of transferring my valued files from the old computer to my new one. I don't have a LAN connection nor do I have a portable hard disk (soon to come though). All I could do is patiently burn those files into my CD-RW, transfer it to the new computer and repeat the cycle. To make things more draggy, the darn CD-RW can only be burn at a max 6x speed! Imagine how long I have to wait just for 700MB? The punch-line is that all my files in total carry a weight of 6.1GB. Yippee!! *sigh* In the end, the wait was worth the while. Another check on my own "Things To Do Before I Die" list.

Right under "Get My Own Personal Gamer's Computer" is of course, "Get My Own Drifting Car". *drool*

when mom's the star

mother and mother

It's momma's day! Momma's day! Come on people, lets sing along!!

1.. 2.. a 1, 2, 3, 4!!

Ibu ibu
Engkaulah ratu hati ku
Bila ku berduka
Engkau hiburkan selalu

Ibu ibu
Engkaulah ratu hati ku

Yesterday was a great day to celebrate Mother's Day, it's a Sunday! Okay, so Mother's Day falls on a Sunday but I'm too blurr to ever realize it. Ahaks~ Here's how I spend my Mother's Day.

Woke up early in the morning. Okay, maybe not so early but I tried! I really did!! But we did wake up anyway (not so early). Got dressed as quick as we could and sped of to church in a flash. After dropping mom and dad off, bro suggested we took Vera out for breakfast since he hasn't seen or talked to her since she came back from Brazil. And since we were gonna pick Vera up, might as well pick up the rest of my 'angels'. Yeap~ Sandra, Rebekah and Vera. They're Andrew's Angels, MY angels. Ahaks~ Sandra was at her home though. She couldn't wake up in time for Gateway so she was gonna go to CCC instead. *sigh* Had some 'Dim Sum' and we were back at church. I'm sorry Oh Lord!

Straight after church, the family planned to visit another lady who truly deserves a Mother's Day special - grandma. We thought she would like to see a few (very) friendly faces. She was surprised to see us and her smile was as wide as ever. We spent most of the time talking to her and playing her all time favourite game, culik. Miss her a lot.

my cuz who works at Century

For dinner, we reserved a very nice table for a buffet dinner at Century Mahkota but we weren't alone, dad wanted to bring is eldest sister, tai-ku along too. We had a great meal over there I tell ya. I had 4 to 5 rounds of food but my all time favourite was the Tempura Prawns. Hehe~ So then we were eating as usual when suddenly, something shiny caught mom's attention. "Is that an ice-kacang machine?" Indeed it is. Mom is a huge fan of ice-kacang. To her, there's no beverage that says it like ice-kacang and now she can finally custom-make her own with no restrictions. No need to say "Aunty.. aunty, extra gula melaka please." anymore.

dad and mom enjoying their meal(s)

The fun didn't stop there though. The night was young there's still food on the table. Bro noticed that the staff was handling out helium balloons and we know how to make good use to helium gas. Bro took a balloon, inhaled the helium gas and started singing to my mom - chipmunk style. Not wanting to miss out in the fun, bro passed the balloon to me and I too inhaled the helium gas and made some weird noises. It was sooooooooooo funny that my mom accidentally put salt in to her coffee instead of sugar. No kidding. The coffee tasted like crap! But it was pure fun.

salted coffee - watch out!!

p.s.
Helium gas is the 2nd lightest gas. Hydrogen is the lightest. That's some super basic chemistry for you. Hehe~

helium-head man!

when there's a new toy in town

i know.. i know.. his screen saver is the same as his blog's

Say goodbye to heavy monitors and bulky pcs. Push away that annoying keyboard and those static-sound-making things called speakers. The TravelMate 415NLCi Laptop is in town and kickin' - hard! It comes with an original (duh?) Intel^® Pentium^® M 730 processor with 2MB of L2 cache, 1.6GHz, 533MHz FSB! Now if those fancy letters and numbers didn't catch your attention, wait till you read the rest. 15.0" XGA TFT LCD screen that is powered by Intel^® Graphic Media Accelerator 900. Has 40GB of hard-disk space for those top-secret files, a DVD/CD-RW combo and 256MB DDR2 ram. Last but not least, 802.11b/g wireless LAN.

Now you can laugh at all your ancient desktop, tower-like, grandfather pc owner, cum friends and blow them away with your new laptop. Not only does it sit on your lap, it can do much more. *winks*

The only not so nice thing about this laptop is that it doesn't belong to me but it serves a much better, business-minded owner - my bro. Yup~ He's a big boy now (21 years old) and he deserves a much smaller toy to play with. And that's when the TravelMate steps in. After eyeing for his prey for a few weeks, he finally narrow it down to this one laptop. I can't remember if he was looking at the super-awesome-cute-kawaii model holding the laptop or the laptop itself. I have no comments. Ahaks~ Still, he seems happy with it and if he's happy, I'm happy. Not only because I get his old pc that has an ATI Radeon 9800pro 128MB in it, *ahem* but I'm genuinely happy for him. I even forgave him for almost losing my precious Switchfoot CD that he accidentally misplace (Switchfoot rawkz!!). See what a good younger brother I am?

p.s.
Happy Momma's Day!!
You rock my cradle gal!!

when bro becomes the president

bush^® would be impressed

It was like every normal day.. Right. So maybe today's a tinnie winnie bit special. It's my family's turn to host our lifegroup. And with that responsibility comes the ever-so-important house cleaning. My mom's a cleanliness freak. No offence meant but it's true none-the-less. At times I would loathe about it but I would submit to it, eventually. See, I'm such a goooood boy. Ahaks~

I hate dust. Okay, so hate is such a "strong" word. Let me rephrase that. I detest dust. Sounds better? *ahem* The reason being my nose is ultra-super-duper-bla sensitive to such things. Allergen, dust-mites, etc - you name it, I sneeze it. The slightest presence of dust would trigger a devastating eruption of mucos from the two little holes on my nose. At times I would let it hang there just to see how long it can stretch before finally cutting itself from the long line. It's pretty entertaining really. By the way, dinner was great. Hahahah~ Wrong time to mention it eh?

By 8pm sharp the sound of an armada of cars and other vehicles could be heard outside my humble adobe. What’s worse was the swarm of buzzing children running in. *groan* I like kids when they're NOT in my house. Led the praise and worship and the meeting procede as usual. It seems that everytime we host the lifegroup the attendance would be full. No kidding. A few of the lifegroup members' theory is that they're here for the food because of my dad's trademark Mac & Cheese and other goodies. Think - conspiracy. *stares* Fed the Alligator Snapping Turtle and Snake Neck Turtle with a few pencil fish and those pesky kids were easily impressed. I mean, who wouldn't be? Even I would be impressed by me. Ahaks~ The turtles snapped those hapless, defenseless pencil fish from my fingers and those kids' jaws were wide open. Mine too.

fish : it burns!! it burns!! arrgghhh!!

vegetarian babu eating fish! *gasp*

Yeah~ That's what I heard from one seriously unlucky 'siakap' fish that was going through a bad day.

It was after dinner. Mom cooked her special fried chicken or frikin as my dad and bro calls it, and I was stuffed. I sat on the chair that was gonna break any second, my stomach, bloated up with yummy soup, the frikin, chicken rice and the ever-so-nice sambal french beans. I told my dad, "I love french *pause...* beans." Ahaks~ Try not to think too far - it ain't healthy. Really.

Sooooo, *ahem* back-track a few hours before dinner. Aaron Wee(d) called and ask if I was interested to 'makan ikan bakar' at 9pm. The time was, if I'm not mistaken, 6pm. So I queried my mom, asking when was dinner gonna be ready. She shouted from the kitchen, "7pm!! Why?" "I'm going out at 9pm" I replied. Gave the confirmation code to Aaron and so it was set: 2100 hours, Project Ikan Bakar shall commence.

I was stuffed. I truly was. It seemed that I ate more than I told myself too and because of that, I'm soooo gonna suffer for tonight. Bro was going out too so he gave me a lift to Aaron Wee(d)'s house (so nice of him *winks*). Drove straight to Babu's house that is located somewhere near the heart of town. Nearing Babu's house, we were caught in one hellofva traffic jam. Initially (not Initial D, mind you) I thought that the was something going on in St. Peter's church but the jam stretched further. From a distance I could see a fire engine in front of the Orkid Hotel (yes, that's the way it's spelled). Tried to see what the commotion was all about but failed to do so in just one glance. Aaron and I lost interest quickly and sped on to our destination.

When Raj arrived, we boarded the official MHS Sc2 Blink-182 Van. This four-wheel-drive lean mean machine is outfitted with a 2.0 liter engine and comes equipped with built-in Lvl 2 Turbo. Max speed is 160kmh and it can go from 0 to 100kmh in 12 seconds!! *drool...* Since Babu is the owner of this beast, so he's the only person who can tame it. Aaron, Raj and me just sat at the passenger's seat. Normally, I would be the co-driver, telling him where to turn etc etc.

Met up with Edwin, the guy who seemed to be the loser of the night (more on it later) and his gf and gf's friends. Drove all the way to the Ikan Bakar stall. All together there was 8 of us, including our friend who's parents owns the stall (hear those discounts coming from a distance). 2 'siakap' fish and fried 'sotong' were our dish and of course not leaving out, the all important 'nasi lemak'. We ate and ate and ate till we drop (blow up was a better expression). I in particular was full - again. Thank God for the 2 hours of rest in between my dinner at home and the next meal with my friends. Nutz..

After a not so great meal, we went to play some pool at Senyum Hypermart. It's been a long time since I seriously played pool. The last time I hit a few balls was with Edwin in K.L. after much pestering from him. I won anyway. So there we were at the pool place. Edwin and Babu can play quite well, Aaron was a little back so he didn't want to join in. 20 minutes later, my bro came to join us. Here's a record of our 2 hours long game.

1st round:
Edwin(o) vs Babu(x)

2nd round:
Me(o) vs Edwin(x)

3rd round:
Bro(o) vs Edwin(x)

4th round:
Bro(o) vs Me(x)

5th round:
Me(o) vs Babu(x)

6th round:
Me(o) vs Edwin(x)

7th round:
Babu(o) vs Edwin(x)

8th round:
Aaron(o) vs Babu(x)

9th round:
Me(o) vs Aaron(x)

When Aaron and I wanted to play on the 10th round, our time was up. And that was 2 hours worth of game. Here's a short history of our 'disagreement' with Edwin's attitude. Edwin is one cocky guy who boast in every single thing and we really do mean every. When he won my bro in a snooker game by just 4 marks, he boast about it till even now. He boast of beating people here and there, doing this and that etc. So all of us decided to shove his mouth shut today, and hell we did it.

It started rather impromptu though. Early in the first round when he was playing with Babu, when Babu made a few small mistakes, he said out boastfully, "Haiya, what's this? Next better play come out". That ticked Aaron and I off a little. When Babu lost the first round, he kept on saying "Where's the next better player?", mocking Babu. I couldn't stand that kind of attitude, so I was next to challenge him. I played, I won and he had 4 more balls on the table. I quirked, "Yo, where's the next better player". It hit him so hard, he went out of the place to sms for awhile. From then on, he lost every match and every time we beat him, we would say, "Next better player, next better player!". Hahaha~ The sad part is that, though he lost he would only shut up for a while. Then when other people's playing he would tell them, what to hit, where to hit. I mean like, come on. You lost! So just keep your 'tips' to yourself kay?

Later he challenged my bro into a snooker game - loser pays. My bro who was irritated from the start agreed. When Edwin wanted to "teach" my bro how to play, my bro became serious and said, "Okay, look. Since you wanted to play this game so badly, don't try to teach me anything. I don't want you to be saying things like 'oh I tought you that's why you win' or anything like that okay?". Edwin agreed and they were silent throughout the whole game. My bro kicked his ass with 35 - love. Meaning bro 35, Edwin 0. Zero! Read this, zero! Loser!! Gosh~ He's irritating! Whew, finally got that off my chest. Now I can sleep peacefully. Ahaks~

where goats fear to tread

get off my face punk!

Forget the title. It's there for fun. Ahaks~ But the picture is real though. Today went around and across town to run some errands. You know, the usual; paying bills, bills and of course, more bills. Hehe~ So we were off. First stop - the unavoidable makan session. I drove (yes, I can drive) my dad and bro to Gagah Berang Food Court. We reached around 2pm so we're pretty safe from the mass traffic of after-school. Dumb school going kids. Ahaks~

Still, the traffic was mildly heavy and bro was a little touchy throughout the whole day. My driving seemed to annoy him and him alone! Even my dad didn't make any noise. Hahahahah~ So I gave him his space to be quiet and alone. Weird as it seemed, my guess is something had happened the night before. He came home in a weird mood (very) early morning. *..silence..* Don't wanna talk about it.

After paying all the bills and stuff. Dad wanted to go to SPCA, Spastic People Caring Association a place that has something to do with animals. Hehe~ So we went there and talk to the girl who was kind enough to entertain a bunch of spastic strangers like us. She introduced us the whole animal world family of SPCA, which is compromised mostly of dogs, cats, rabbits, a goose and a goat. Yes. A goat. A cute little goat with a goatee. Hahaha~ I had to say that. The place was nonetheless cool. Check it out guys!

So now I'm gonna go grab early dinner and later, I'd be smashing some pool table with my dudes. Should be fun. Haha~

when scrubs meet kuaci - they get married

perfect pair = kuaci and Scrubs

A day like this can't be any weirder. Everyone around me suddenly start to act quite the irritating. Blew my mood away. It's just one of those when you don't wanna wake up. Everything sux. Hahahaha~ But I'll get used to it - hopefully. After all, I'm trying to get used to a lot of changes that's going on in my life. But some things just takes time to pass - a lot of time. *sigh*

Well, my trip to K.L. was okay in the whole but my short trip to Genting.. well.. wasn't really that great for me. The whole trip up to Genting ripped out a bunch of memories that I had purposely kept hidden in the dark recesses of my mind. From the winding road up to the long journey in the cable car. From the arcade in Genting to the Go-Kart in the theme park. I was silent most of the time. Was trying to keep those memories and emotions at bay as I didn't want to ruin the trip. My friends, though they didn't know, they had helped me a lot.

I tell myself,
"I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home"

Funny eh?

Indeed..

So now I spend the night eating kuaci aka sunflower seeds and watching old episodes of Scrubs. Life can't get anymore exciting than this.

gamers are gamed

Since the start of the holiday I've stick my face into the monitor of my bro's computer, playing nothing other than computer games. His computer has the better specs after all. For my family, his RM980 ATI Radeon 9800Pro 128MB costs alot. I know that other gamers have better graphic cards and processors but we're poor. Really. So RM980 is a killer to us. I sometimes wonder why he bought that graphic card since he doesn't play much games but I don't care.

I'm a gamer. I've been playing games since I first got my first PC when I was Strd 2. I've played most of the famous games except MMORPGs that require cash to play. Fung Wan Online rocks!! Because my house computer's spec is rather low-end, I can't play those games that require a high graphic processor. So that's when my bro's PC comes into the picture.

It's holiday season for me and thus I come out of my long period of hibernation-from-games and I hunger for some raw power. I hunger for it so much so that I finish Chronicles of Riddick : Escape From Butcher's Bay in 2 days. Yes - 2 days. The latest game that I finished playing is Knights Of The Old Republic II : The Sith Lords. Took me 4 days minus my trip to KL. A great game indeed. Perplexing story-line, though I was slightly disappointed with the ending. Was hoping that they would reveal more about Revan's whereabouts. *sigh*

Enough about games dammit! If I keep this up, I'll be no better than a couch potato. I should start working out soon before I run out of time. Hehe~

*gasp!* I've finally found my true evlish name!!
I am called.. Valandil Mithrandír

When Back Is Back

finally, a song about me

I'm back from a rough trip. Lots of bumpy roads along the way but still, it was worth it. Now I'm pulled back to reality again just like when I came back from IF Camp, but slightly worse. When I reached the doorsteps of my house, I felt like my heart was being swallowed up again. I reached out and grab on for my life against the current. Hardened and cold my heart became - it disgust me.

I let go..

Papa Roach
Scars

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help to fix myself
Your making me insane
All I can say is

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
A kiss will only vise
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That your drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last dance

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause your drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
You fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

when everyone's going away

It's the new day of a new month and I'm enjoying my life as much as I can in K.L. Well, technically I have to because the rest of my friends, The Konn Manns are going their separate ways afther this trip. Gonna miss them I tell ya. Aaron may be going to studying in Cyber for his degree, Khim Hai will be busy with Form 6, Babu and Edwin is in K.L., Guang Yeow is married, Yuga is in U.K., Giri is in Perlis (seriously), the rest of them are lost and me.. Ahhh yes~ The one and only The 88, WontdieonE, Konn Mann, will be in Malacca. I guess it's the choice that I make to stay here. For all I know, I could be in Cyber enjoying life but for me, I feel that Malacca is the place for me. There're too many people over here that I can't leave. Most of them are from CF. *gasp~!* Maybe I'm too attached to them. Eitherway it's my choice and I choose to stay with people who are closest to me. Because for me, it's only you and me, and all of the people with nothing to do, and nothing to lose. Ahaks~ Alas~ You know who you are - even if you're not sure. I'm in Malacca for you.