it hurts

Been listening to Guang Liang's song, Tung Hua recently or more precisely, ever since the mtv came on our good ol' local tv station TV3. Watching that particular mtv really stirred this dark soul of mine. It brought back feelings that I really thought were long buried, feelings that I thought we long dead. In short, it made me emo - big time. I started recalling my relationships, the people I loved and still love, the people I'm learning to love and the memories that I carry with me dearly. Images, pictures, flashes of smiles, their lips that words everything I lost or more accurately, everything that I let go.

Just last Friday, I dropped by my course-mate's house to pick up something from him. As I sat in front of his house talking to him, a familiar face passed me by. Time stopped as I immediately recognize a girl that I once cared for dearly - she was my first. She didn't looked inside the house, a good thing she didn't. I didn't want to cause any hurtful emotions to arise from the grave of me. But the sight of her passing by somehow stabbed my heart with the dagger of conviction - it hurts.

Afew seconds after she passed by I told my friend that I have to be excused as I still have work to do at the YAC. I took my bike and quickly rode pass her, hoping for.. I dunno.. I dunno what I'm hoping for. After all these years, she can still affect me like that. Heh~ I guess the 3 of them always could. After all, they're holding a valuable piece of my broken heart with them. For all I know they could've thrown them away but as for me, I've always kept them. Those pieces remind me that the past is real - they are my emotional scars.

Helping out in the CF helped me a lot in return. I was able to suppress those buried feelings deep inside my heart. In fact, a lot of people in the CF helped me a lot and whether they know it or not doesn't matter, I'm nevertheless grateful to them though they may not know it. Like a dove in the sky, I'm grateful that God has blinded my vain eyes to see the heart, not the shell. A true gift indeed - think Shallow Hall but a much lesser extent. But still, I wish to return to that fairytale of true love that I yearn so much, deep down in my soul.

Guang Liang
Tung Hua (fairytale)

忘了有多久 再没听到
你对我说你最爱的故事
我想了很久 我开始慌了
是不是我又做错了什么

你哭着对我说 童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂 从你说爱我以后
我的天空 星星都亮了

我愿变成童话里 你爱的那个天使
张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

你哭着对我说 童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂 从你说爱我以后
我的天空 星星都亮了

我愿变成童话里 你爱的那个天使
张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

我要变成童话里 你爱的那个天使
张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

我会变成童话里 你爱的那个天使
张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

一起写我们的结局

I forgot how long was it
Since I last heard you
Telling me your favourite story
I have been thinking for a very long time
I’m begining to feel paranoid
Did I make any mistakes again?

You came and tell me with the tears in your eyes
That fairytales are all lies
It’s impossible for me to be your prince charming
Maybe you will not understand
After the moment when you said you loved me
The stars in my sky, are begining to shine and shimmer

I’m willing to be the angel you love
In the fairytales
Open my arms wide
And let it become wings to protect you
You have to believe
Believe that we will be like the fairytale
With happiness and joy as the ending

I’m willing to be the angel you love
In the fairytales
Open my arms wide
And let it become wings to protect you
You have to believe
Believe that we will be like the fairytale
With happiness and joy as the ending

I will be the angel you love
In the fairytales
Open my arms wide
And let it become wings to protect you
You have to believe
Believe that we will be like the fairytale
With happiness and joy as the ending

Everything is our beautiful ending

*sigh*