Anger or Hate?

I dunno about you guys out there, personally, I like myself to be fun and smiling all the time and stuff but you know, these days I can't smile very often. I hate hating. I hate anger. The last time I let those things really get to me didn't end up so well for the other dude... Since then I told myself I won't let it take control of me again... What scares me now is I don't even know if I'm angry... All I know is the flame that keeps burning in me, wether I'm angry or happy, it's there. When something that really irritates me pops to my face there's this itching feeling like putting my fist right to its face... Sigh... I dunno how long I can keep fighting this thing. Unforgiveness has already destroyed part of my life that took me so long to build... As I'm trying to repair that part, hate and anger keeps getting in the way. Anger management won't help. THat's for sure. To make things worse, I'm the type of guy who's stubborn and would fight till the end for what I feel is right and when I see something that ticks me off, I won't show it off, instead, I will keep it in my heart and let the world pass me by. What the hell... Right...