| late for work?

You see kids; in the working world, one must be ever cunning in taking opportunities to get yourself out of Some Deadly Situations® (it's not really a registered trademark, i'm just using it because i can). One of the most perilous situation to be found in is when you come in late for work one day and your boss asks you to, "Explain yourself Andrew! You're TWO staraliasdollarpercent HOURS LATE!!".

And if you're a rather tech-savvy dude/dudette (nerd/nerdette) you've probably heard of this little handy killer app called Photoshop.

You see where I'm getting? Shoooop some pics to give a proof as to why you're late and you'll be guiltless (unless he does photoshooooping too and then yaskrewed)! Thankfully, Cracked.com has graciously given us fine examples of such shoooops in sequence from the moment you wake up.

Now. Behold the wonders of the winternet.

there was a bear in my bathroom!

ninjas stopped me!

bumblebee humped my car!

satnav was pointing me to silent hill (and pyramid head was chasing my sorry ass around)!

the beatles were crossing my street (and they took forever)!

i crashed into a google earth marker!

a thwomp blocked my path!

an agent trashed my car (and this isn't really happening because we're living in a virtual world and our bodies and sleeping in pods with these Epic Twelve Inch phallic thingies penetrating our skulls to connects us to the matrix of which they're using our bodies like batteries cause we blocked out their primary source of energy which was the sun and for that, yes, we're dumb)!

ultraman was fighting some monster (and caused a massive jam)!

and lastly..

i was gonna enter the company elevator and suddenly i was in a land of magical wonders and wonders charlie~, called narnia!

Cracked.com helped me through tough times. Thank you crack.

So once again. Remember kids; the working world is a land filled with dangerous people. Stay sharp and prosper.

Outz~