| cold sweat

I haven't had a nightmare in ages. Today I had one. It's quite freaky really as it held a lot of truth, and that frightens me. After having dinner with my parents around 9pm, I dunno why but I lie down on my bed and just wanted to let time pass me by. I wanted to catch House on AXN but I guess I somehow fell asleep.

when everything inside me..

So, we don't know when we fall asleep right? We just do. But in the back of my mind, I'm supposed to be awake as I wanted to catch a show on tv, so the dream was rather realistic. From here, it becomes twisted. I dreamt that I was possessed - slowly. It's not immediate but rather, it was a slow process. That's not the scary part, the scary part was right in the end of the dream I heard something whispering to me - "my demons are still in me after all.."

..looks like everything i hate..

I woke up only to find my mom switching off the light. She told me it was already 1.30am and I dozed off since we got back from dinner. She left the room and there I was sitting all alone in the darkness. I thought back about the end of the dream, "my demons are still in me after all..". A sudden flash back of my past knocked me to the edge of my bed and I kept thinking if it's true. Are my demons still in me?

..You are the hope i have for change..

Sure I've done stupid things in the past. Sure I screw lots of people up and hurt tons of innocent people. Sure I've done things that I thought I would never do. Heck, even my family didn't know about my half-life. But I knew it would always haunt me no matter what I do to redeem myself. I guess that's why I go around with a smile and try my best to do what I can.

..You are the only chance i'll take

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I regretted all those things I've done and I know that there's nothing much I can do to make it go away. For as long as the memories are embedded in the minds of people, I'm forever guilty I guess. But God being God, gave me one shot at redemption - I took it.