Wednesday, August 31, 2005

we try, we fail... but we don't give up

Living as Christians can be the best thing in the world. But there are times when the world can really throw huge chunks of shit at us. Huge as in the really big ones that you don't normally see on an average day. Yea~ By the way, I just had my dinner, it was nice. Ahaks~ I've had shit thrown at me this whole two weeks. Sure, they aren't those big ones but yeah, it still sucks. To make things worse, I'm down with flu right now, so I can't blog nude. *awww~* I should be down and stuff now but strange enough I'm not.

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Christians - we stand in the midst of the multitude

Sure we feel tired and stuff. Believe me, I am really tired behind this smiley face of mine, cracking jokes and doing silly antics. Behind the corny and occasionally horny *smiles* side of me, I'm really tired. Bet most of us feel this way too. We feel tired of trying to make things right, trying to make things better. Tired of trying to help, trying to heal, trying to change. Above all, tired of trying to do the right thing (be a man!). Why? Because we keep trying and most of the time, we fail. That's the truth of things - they just won't go the way we want them to.

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we try to staple things right

We try to be an example of Christ. We try to score in our exams. We try to be understanding children to our parents. We try to endure persecutions from friends. We try to help people in need. We try to be great leaders. We try to be good friends. We try to strike a balance in our lives.

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just like ultraman - but much cooler

We Christians are humans after all. We aren't fill with unlimited energy. We still need food and rest. Above all, we need love. May it be love from God, or our parents or love from our brothers and sisters. Even love from our spouses and partners. We have failed to give love most of the time. We have fallen before and we hit the ground hard. We have broken many hearts and we have hurt many innocent people. All this drains us and makes us tired, we lose our strength.

BUT (i just love but's.. but that just sounds wrong..)

When we lose our strength, that's when we gain the strength of our Lord. In our weakest moments, we become strong through and only through God - just like Ultraman, but not lame and much more cooler. We are Christians, we try, we fail but we don't give up and never will give up.

I'm tired but I will never give up trying to make things right for you. That is my promise after all.

casting crowns
if we are the body

It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in trying to fade into the faces
The girls teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat and quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances
Tells him that his chances are better out on the road

But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the body of Christ

But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
Jesus is the way

happy birthday malaysia

Monday, August 29, 2005

daddy! daddy! spin me faster!

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the old fan

After much persuasion from my parents, I gave them the go-ahead to change my room fan. Well there's practically nothing wrong with it; it hasn't fallen on me while I'm in my deep slumber. So yeah, it's still okay to me. But according to my parents, it's spinning at 1/4th it's normal full-speed. Meaning though the control is set at FULL, it's spinning like it's in lvl 1 or 2. Honestly, it's kinda irritating to have a slow fan on those hot afternoons. Think EP, think Dahlia, you'll understand.

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the new fan

So I spend the whole afternoon swapping my room fan with my house's store room fan. It's kinda funny to think that the store room's fan is much better and stronger than my room's.. Okay, maybe it's not that funny. I can't think of a nice punch-line to kick it off, so there you have it - the lame joke of the day. Ahaks~

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spinning damn fast till i have to double check it constantly

I'll tell you guys something else that's funny though. My parents were staring at the wires sticking out of the ceiling where the fan used to be and out of the big blue, my mom made this awesomely funny statement.

*turns head to dad*
Mom : Hmmm~ Looks dangerous larr Tom.
Dad : Yea lorr.. Dunno whether it's live or not.
Mom : Yea.. I think we'll play it safe larr - use rubber.
*dad pauses a second*
Dad : I beg your pardon?
Mom : Huh? I said play it safe, use rubber larr. It's non conductive what.

How often would you hear your mom tell your dad to use rubber? Rubber! Of all things in the world she could've said, she said rubber! Whatever happened to the world "glove"? Dad and I were laughing on the floor while mom still looked puzzled. Dad quickly made a corny remark, "you're asking your husband to use rubber arr? why? don't trust me is it?". Nice one dad. Dad explained to mom our translation of her sentence. "you all corrupted one.. can even think like this.. siao~" she said smiling in humour. Ahhh~ Mom oh mom, you really can say the best things in the world to us all.

"play it safe larr.. use rubber" - mom

Fortunately, it seems many people are talking weird tonight. I went out for supper with Sippy and her room mates, all girls mind you. Everything was going on normal and stuff (i think). Went to Cahaya Dinar, ordered our drinks, chatted, the usual. When I asked them what they wanted to eat, Sippy's room mate said this, maggie kari kurang pedas. I couldn't help but asking her twice just to confirm. Yeah, she said that. Went there, ordered exactly what she said, looking like some dumb guy in the process. The man looked at me for a second and just said, "okay". Moments later their food arrived and I couldn't stop myself from asking, "yang mana satu kurang pedas?" (which one is the less spicy?). Ahaks~ Seriously, in my entire 19 years of living, I've never heard anyone ordered "kari kurang pedas". That's twice already today. You're room mates are funny Sippy. Hope you had fun. Good nite peeps.

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"encik, maggie kari kurang pedas ya?"

Sunday, August 28, 2005

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it takes great skill to rest that massive head
on an arm like that, balanced in sleep

Die spyware die!!

If only it'll be that simple. My course mate, Yap, recently told me my blog has a spyware attached to it. More precisely, it's attached to my chatterbox. Is it true? Can anybody help me confirm it please? Hold on.. Bleh~ Like I care if chatterbox is spywared by a spyware. Me-no-worry-big-nothing. Say that fast enough and it'll sound Japanese.

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malim and the huge-ass ore chien

It has officially been 2 months since I sent my graphic card for warranty. Where in the world are you, O great graphic card of mine? My 9800pro.. My precious.. *drools* I need you back. Neverwinter Nights 2, Battlefield 2,
Brothers in Arms, and San Andreas needs you badly! They yearn for their wild, rough particles and polygons to be processed by your smooth, experienced transistors... That sounds very wrong. *smiles* Okay, enough of the dirty talks already. What in the world is wrong with you Andrew?! Not enough action arr? (of course not *winks*)

the tongue is like a double edged sword
wow.. the french must really love sword-fighting

I'm missing my Laney, DWX-10c, and wires. Yea~ All 3 of them have been taken away from my hands. I especially miss DWX. I miss running my fingers over her smooth body, plucking her strings gently, holding her neck in the palm of my hands and staring into her soul. On bad days, snapping her G-string and having to comfort her cries while I turn her knobs in tune. When she's dirty, her voice is like the sound of the dirty seawater of Melaka smashing against the small diminutive rocks by the beach and so, I shower her with my affection as I apply my special fluid on her, making her as smooth as new. Ahhh~ Now she's in the hands of Justin. I wonder if he's treating her the way I do. I hope she doesn't cheat on me. Ahaks~ That sounds wrong all the way. Good night peeps!

But if you tame me,
then we shall meet each other.
To me, you will be unique in all the world...
To you, I shall be unique in all the world...
You become responsible, forever,
For what you have tamed...

                                 Antoine de Saint Exupery

Saturday, August 27, 2005

everyone is tired - im not alone

Sorry guys.. Another rant post for now.

I wonder why this never ends. It seems no matter what I write about, there would always be sad things happening in my life. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe my expectations are too high.. are they? I don't think so.. I certainly hope not. Wish I could follow what my bro would say, "expect nothing and you won't be disappointed". How I wish humans were such simple beings.

made a fool of everyone

Am I disappointed? Am I not satisfied? I dunno.. But honestly, I feel like a fool. I feel like I'm constantly bluffing myself, constantly lying to myself saying "it's all okay.. it'll change in time..". This is not the first time Andrew, but you'll get use to it - just like you always do. Be the punching bag for the world. Be the fool.

the double edged sword

I was smiling just 30 minutes ago. Why do I feel sad now? Am I really feeling sad? What a pathetic emo post I have written. That’s the worst part of it all.

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under the sun and rolling clouds

Which is worst, doing something but knowing it’ll hurt the other person or doing something unaware of the consequences? My opinions on that matter isn’t important, but what’s important is that by knowing the consequences, would we still do it? Especially when hurt is involved in it.

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a long way to go...

I’m tired. That’s all I know. I’ve been tired for far too long already. I need rest. I yearn for rest. I pray that you be that rest I need. In the end, would you still be it?

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opposites make each other whole

Friday, August 26, 2005

glas1 - ever wonder what that means?

After being busy on Thursdays for the pass few weeks, I felt it was about time I sat foot into my CG, Glas1 once again. Sorry guys for the M.I.A. status from me. I'll try to come more often next time kay? Don't you just like acronyms? CF, CG, Glas1, MIA. It sounds cool to those who know what it means and to those who don't. Well, most of the time atleast. This time for CG we had bible study at Joel's place. It was cool and all except for two things, I wasn't feeling well the whole day, and CP was super tired so both of our brains are half-shut. That's bad mann. Felt kinda bad for CP too. She fell asleep throughout most of the bible study session, but I do like the part when she had to ditch her friend to come CG. Good for you ger. Me proud of ya! *rubs cp's head*

M.I.A. = Mission Impossible for Andrew?

IM OUT OF INSPIRATION!! Babu sent me some cool jokes, so I felt it was appropriate for me to post it for tonight. Enjoy~

From : Divesh Shah -
Sent : Thursday, August 25, 2005 10:59:10 PM

A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish.
By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says,
"Sir, I'm afraid there has been a mistake. You see, that police officer who is sitting at the next table is a regular customer of ours and he usually orders the same dish.

The problem is, this is the last chicken in the house. I'm afraid I'll have to take this dish to him and arrange for
another dish for you!"

The guy gets really upset and refuses to give up his food. The waiter walks over to the other table and explains the situation to the officer. A few minutes later the officer walks over to the man's table and says,

"Listen and listen good. That is MY chicken you are about to eat and I'll warn you, whatever you do to that chicken I'll do the same to you. You pull out one of its legs; I'll pull out one of yours. You break one of its wings, I'll break one of your arms!"

The man calmly looks at the chicken, then sticks his middle finger in the bird's rectum, pulls it out and licks it. He then gets up, drops his pants, bends over and says, "Your turn!"


The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing, runs into a man, and they both fall down. "Geez, are you lucky." The cyclist says. "What do you mean by lucky?" The pedestrian angrily asks, "I got hurt really bad."

"Ah, you're lucky because I recently lost my license. I usually drive bus."


(wontdieone : and the most cruel of them all - voted by me)

It was about a month ago when a Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess.
He went to the local priest. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a Jew in my attic."
"Well," answered the priest, "that is no sin."
"But I charged him 20 Gulden for every week he stayed there."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause", replied the priest.
"Yes, but I haven't told him that the war is over."

Hope you dudes laughed at one of the jokes atleast. Have a great night~

Thursday, August 25, 2005

same but not alike?

I hate losing, everyone does. But it's more than just losing that drives me nuts, it's losing things that makes me go bonkers, even more when that certain thing is expensive. *sigh* As if losing my memory isn't bad enough, losing my stuff and blaming it on my memory is even worse. Maybe I didn't get better after all, my memory is just as poor as it was before.. I dunno.. I can't remember.
I'm a loser.. *sad...*

i've got it wrong today

Guess I'm have to buy a new one before he finds out. I'm not afraid of getting scolding and stuff, I just don't want him to get pressured. My family's finance isn't exactly doing well and news like this isn't gonna help. To make things worse, my bank is getting dryer by the moment and now I'm gonna have to fork out RM130 for another one of those. SOMEONE FILL MY BANK!!... please? Ahaks~ Wait.. That wasn't funny.

rolling the clouds?

If only Stef would read this post, update hers and one day, just simply hands me a RM1000 note, just like that. Ahhh~ What a day that would be.. What a day that would be..

if(time == money)
      money = root_of_all_evil;
            while(andrew!=money ; andrew!=dead ; own_a_car==0)
                  andrew != time;
                  andrew != evil;
                  andrew = good;

      cout<<"Andrew not guai! Andrew naughty boii!";

How true can that be eh?? Bleh~ My programming sux! Ahahahahaha~ My other coursemates are better.

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city girl, kampung boy - what a match

Though I should be very sad and depressed about losing that thing (no Philip, im not talking about my virginity), I am feeling rather happy. Maybe it was because of the fun I had the previous night, or it could be that "our tongue is like a double-edge sword" talk I had last night too. *smiles* I dunno but I'm feeling okay - till I withdraw more money from my bank account and check out how much cash I have left in there. Aaaaa~ Fill my bank, fill my bank, fill my bank~!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

the rough day

Big shout out to Stef, thanx for your hard effort, downloading Keiichi Tsuchiya Drift Bible for me!! One day when I get my own Silvia S14, I'll take you for a spin okays? Ahaks~ Not to complain or in anyway sound ungrateful.. but got no sound larr. How?? Bleh~ Actually it doesn't matter, it's not like I can understand Japanese anyway. Looking at him driving is good enough. *smiles*

why weren't we able..

Yesterday was busy as ever. Having made promises to my good old friend, Vera and my sister Rebekah to one day, bring them to MMUCF. And so yesterday happened to be that special day. The plan, well.. more like my plan actually, was to start my journey at 6.30pm, pick up a certain someone and Sandra from EP, fly all the way to Tangkera to fetch Vera, hairpin back to Kota Laksamana to fetch Rebekah, grab some dinner along the way and finally catapult all the way back to YAC. But... see the signs we missed..

Like always, my plan NEVER seem to work. Someone didn't want to follow which kinda demoralized me. It killed off almost 40% of my mood. The worst part was that I had forgotten about Sandra and took the Bachang road heading to Tangkera. Half-way through, Sandra called and told me to pick her up. I was at a cross-junction and left was heading towards MMU. E-break+accelerate after the traffic light - I'm still alive. Yay~

..i tried to turn the tables~

The time was already 6.45pm when I picked Sandra up from EP and I knew I had to rush if we were to be able to have dinner in time. Took the highway from POS Malaysia and drag all the way pass Tesco to Tangkera. Picked Vera up - time, 7.10pm. Poor Rebekah, I told her I'd reach at 7.00pm. By the time I cut through the massive jam and picked Rebekah, it was already 7.35pm. It was impossible to eat dinner and still make it in time for CF and I don't want them to miss the most fun part about CF; praise and worship. So I flew to CF. Actually, I was flying throughout the whole time. I hate to wait and therefore, I honestly don't like people waiting for me especially. Tension was maxed out.

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~the light broke through
while waiting for you~

Normally, I wouldn't drive the way I drive alone when there are people in the car. Especially when my friends and people I care for are in the car, I wouldn't drive nuts. I did exactly that last night and I guess I must've freaked all you out. I'm sorry. Honestly, I would never do that. It wasn't like me to gamble with your lifes. But I bet you gals had fun didn't you? Ahaks~ The day didn't end as I had plan (duh~). I wanted to spend some time with people who meant a lot to me but I guess we don't get everything huh? So now, let me apologize.

I'm sorry for bugging you all the time,
so much so you had to tell me to leave you alone.
I'm sorry for telling you it's 7pm Rebekah.
I'm sorry for not calling you Vera.
I'm sorry for making you rush your bath Sandra.
I'm sorry to keep all of you waiting.
I'm sorry for driving dangerously and rushing.
I'm sorry for that not-so-nice dinner.
I'm sorry for not being able to entertain all of you.
I'm sorry for asking you to sit with me, away from your friends.
I'm sorry for not being able to make you smile that night.
I'm sorry for not doing better.
I'm sorry for the lousy mood.
I'm sorry for everything.
Yea~ Everything.

ai tryyd two bee perfek

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not good, never perfect


Just this once, I would like to know why. The question why of a many things. The puzzle that wrought a destruction of me. The question that caused me to bleed. I wanna run away.

i've got another confession to make...

My neck is stiff, the beat of my heart ceased. I sit on this chair lifeless. Wondering why am I so useless. I keep trying and trying. But yet failure seeks me. I end up with hurt and suffering. But it still won't leave me. a fool...

They say, "You're better off on your own". But I say, "I can never live alone". In the end alone I am and alone I'll always be. The words spin like a carousel. When they would stop, I can never tell.

...everyone's got their chains to break...

I want everyone to be happy. I want it really badly. I stretch myself to make things work. I'm torn in two, torn the worst. Makes me wanna get in the hearse, and end my lifeless life on earth.

...holding you~

But death was never easy though it may never hurt, and yet it is there waiting for us to reach the dirt. When shadows fall and block my eyes, I am lost and know that I must hide.

falling from the stars...

They don't know my hurt, you don't know my pain. Maybe they don't know, you don't see my veins. You don't see my scars and my efforts are in vain. I want you to smile the sun, as I watch from the furthest lane. As the moon reflects, my emotions in the deep end.

...becoming who we are~

Faceless in void. Nothing returned, nothing seen.
But that's where I am, where I will always be.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

yap : why none of your pictures make sense?

A course mate of mine (name withheld for his safety) mentioned something rather interesting to me, or at least I think it is. He said in his typical chinese-ed, sfi-bred slang, "Oii~ Wai yor blok picchurr no mek sens wan arr?". *ahem* I mean he said, "Oii~ Why your blog picture doesn't make sense arr?". So, people do notice that my pictures don't make sense. And I thought it was me all along. Ahaks~

im a freak.. i admit.. bleh~

Actually, the pictures I take have their own individual meanings to me. It's like, on that exact minute, at that exact place, when I'm looking at that particular object or person, it gives me this exceptional feeling. Not wanting it to be forgotten or gone to waste, in my best effort, I try to capture them. Because my handphone camera is only 0.6 megapix, the images are rather sucky and murky. Think mud on the mirror. Or more like me looking at my mirror. Ahaks~ Though I don't post them, most of the pictures I take are either the sun or the moon. They are indeed the 2 most fascinating, enthralling, mesmerizing, captivating, alluring, enchanting, and definitely beautiful thing I've ever seen. I look at the moon I think of my life. I look at the sun and I think of my loved ones. Mann, I'm sucha wuss. Let's hope Stef didn't hear that. Hahahaha~

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does this make sense to you? does it?! DOES IT?!!

So what have I been up to at home these days, aside from being alone and overwhelm by that certain claustrophobic, paranoia feeling, that is. Ahaks~ I've reinstalled NFSU2 - again! *sounds excited* Isn't that cool?!!..... Mann.. How lame can I be? *sigh* But it's all not that boring. I'm experimenting with different things. I was using automatic transmission last time throughout the game. Now I'm playing with the manual transmission and I must say, it's hellofva fun! I now have better control of my speed and handling (break+down-shift heel-to-toe corners), and I can do more stylish drifts too. I don't really care about the points from drifting as I feel it's not the "proper" drift competition judging. To me, drift is all about style. 1st-2nd gear choku-dori's are great to mess with.

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wow.. didn't know they had an official D1 road in malacca..
drifting IS really catching up~

Right now I wanna meet someone, but I don't wanna like troubling anyone too. I'm getting the feeling that I've become a seriously troublesome guy. *sigh* I guess I'll just stick to my secluded, paranoia filled room for the rest of the night.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

on white board : heavenly tunes

In case your wondering about the title, it's the Star's Thursday Audiofile collumn. Its title under NEWS; Heavenly Tunes, Taylor Jars Of Clay Signature Model. Yummy~ Very yummy indeed.

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the night the sun met the moon

It's already 4.20am and I'm still trying to picture my words for tonight's entry. I'm lost for words. And Stef just choked on her coke after reading that. Choked on coke - I really need to stop using those cliche' lines.

to practice the life that we pretend

Went out for supper earlier just now with my little bro and his friend, May. May is a girl who was born on April. *raise eyebrow* It seems she came out earlier than he mom wanted her to. Now you can find that happening often. Like me, I was supposed to be due on January but my mother's womb was just too comfortable for my lazy arse, so I stayed on till August. Kinda pity my mom though; carrying a parasite that makes corny, lame jokes like me around for so long. Ahaks~

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line up the lights - prepare the way

Anyway, we went to our regular place, CD around 11.20pm or so. As usual, I had to spent most of the time talking, if not, the other two will be perfectly silent. Thank goodness for that extra 512MB RAM if not, I can't process the info in my brain fast enough to make a string of lame jokes without stopping. As fast as I am in making lame jokes, there was once or twice where I had to stop for awhile to munch on my food and process more topics to talk about and more jokes to tell. It proved to be quite challenging after all. What in the world would I do without that 1024MB RAM? Ahaks~ So we ordered two rounds of drink, both mango juice for me, and continued yapping till it was nearly 3am. Numbnuts mann.. Numbnuts~

know i'll always love you... yea~

Recently, I've been having some minor worries. I think it's minor. Think.. Worries about what? Well, I don't feel like telling the world about it, at least not now. Hopefully the people whom are close to me and close to my heart would reach out and grab me from falling down this dark spiral vacuum of ambiguity and uncertainty. I beg you to stretch your hands out for me and please do save me. Me, a man who refuse to lay down and die, a man who won't die one.

Relient K
Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the pacific
And you might think I'm losing my mind
But I will shy away from the specifics
Cause I don't want you to know where I am
Cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been
And this is no place to try and live my life

Stop right there
That's exactly where I lost it
See that line
Well I never should've crossed it
Stop right there
Well I never should've said that
It's the very moment that I wish I could take back

I'm sorry for the person I became
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been

I talked to absolutely no one
Couldn't keep to myself enough
And the things bottled inside had finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'd soon blow up

And I heard the reverberating footsteps
Syncing up to the beating of my heart
And I was positive that unless
I got myself together I would watch me fall apart
And I can't let that happen again
Cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been
And this is no place to try and live my life

Stop right there
That's exactly where I lost it
See that line
Well I never should've crossed it
Stop right there
Well I never should've said that
It's the very moment that I wish I could take back

I'm sorry for the person I became
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been

Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me
Who I am hates who I've been
Cause who I've been only ever made me

I'm sorry for the person I became
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been

Saturday, August 20, 2005

going sideways?

It's been raining the pass few days and when it is raining, be prepare to hear cars skidding and sliding sideways around big parking lots. You know what I'm talking about- well, atleast most of you do know. I'm talking about drifting. I don't need to explain what drifting is all about but many people do get confused or don't really know what real drifting is.

It's quite amusing really. Sometimes when I sit in my friend's car and they take a hard corner at around 60 to 70kmh making the tyres screech, they think it's drifting and they proudly boast how they did a drift and how cool it is. Sadly, it seems they think that ass-dragging, as we call it, is drifting. How sad.. Hahahaha~ Sad but funny indeed.

Another amusing part about drift-confused people are Initial D fans. Sure Initial D is cool and all. Even I watch the anime and enjoy the races. BUT, for the last time there's a huge difference between show drifting and real drifting. Also, once and for all, drifting is NOT the fastest way through a corner. It's really irritating when some Initial D fans telling everyone how Initial D is so cool and how drifting is the fastest way through a corner. Sheesh~ Oh yea, one more thing, heel-to-toe is NOT a drift technique you noob!

Glad to get that off my chest. Whew~ Tension giler..

Since I tembak people who think they know what drift is, let me explain what drifting is to drifters.

Drifting is actually getting your car side ways around a series of curves or even one curve in a controlled manner. Different people explain it differently. I would call it a drift as long the car stays side way from the entry for a turn and all the way out aka sideways all on tarmac roads. What I mean side ways is the rear losing tracking and the front wheel counter steering holding to its dear life. The steering is pointing to the direction your car is going, while the nose points to the inner part for the turn. Counter steering to add to the complexity you can actually link turns while drifting by using weight transfer to flip the car to the other direction which will require a good steering input.

Sorry if it sounds complex. But that's the way it is. Here are some drift methods.

adapted from

Power Over
This performed when entering a corner and using full throttle to produce heavy oversteer through the turn. You need horsepower to make this happen.

Clutch Kick
This is performed by depressing the clutch pedal on approach or during a mild drift, then the clutch is "popped" to give a sudden jolt through the driveline to upset rear traction.

E-Brake Drift
This technique is very basic, pull the E-Brake or side brake to induce rear traction loss and balance drift through steering and throttle play. This can also be used to correct errors or fine tune drift angles. Main drift technique used in FWD vehicles. It's my main technique for the Red Iswara.

Shift Lock Drift
This is performed by letting the revs drop on downshift into a corner and then releasing the clutch to put stress on the driveline to slow the rear tires inducing over steer. This is like pulling the E-brake through a turn, but this should be performed on wet ground to minimize damage to the driveline.

Feint Drift
This is performed by rocking the car towards the outside of a turn and then using the rebound of grip to throw the car into the normal cornering direction. This is heavy rally racing technique used to change vehicle attitudes during cornering.

Kansei Drift
This is performed at race speeds. When entering a high speed corner a driver lifts his foot off the throttle to induce a mild oversteer and then balances the drift through steering and throttle motions. The car that is being used for this style of drift should be a neutral balanced car therefore the oversteer will induce itself. If the car plows through any turn this technique will not work.

Braking Drift
This is performed by trail braking into a corner. Loss of grip is obtained and then balanced through steering and throttle motions. This is mainly for medium to low speed corners.

Swaying Drift (Choku-Dori)
This is a slow side-to-side faint like drift where the rear end sways back and forth down a strait.

Jump Drift
In this technique the rear tire on the inside of a turn or apex is bounced over a curb to lose traction resulting in over steer. Do not attempt this technique at the Drift Session.

Dirt Drop Drift
This is performed by dropping the rear tires off the road into the dirt to maintain or gain drift angle without losing power or speed and to set up for the next turn. This technique is very useful for low horsepower cars. VERY DANGEROUS! Please do not attempt this ya?

So now that you roughly know (i hope) what drifting is and how to drift, please don't let me drift alone all the time kays? Especially you WeeD. How's the car coming along? Ahaks~ Cauz~

Friday, August 19, 2005

humpty dumpty humpalot

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yay~ new wallpaper for handphone

I just realize that the only thing I miss about my com when the RAM died wasn't the powerful 1024MB RAM or the 2.8GHz processor or even the graphics.. Okay, maybe a little on the graphics but the main thing that I miss about the com isn't really the com itself. I miss the things that are inside the com. There's a difference there. Pictures, music, videos, manga, anime, etc. Weird eh? Bleh~ I wasn't really normal anyway. Stef can vouch for that, right Stef? Ahaks~ She's probably ignoring blogging for awhile. After all, who can so no to World Of Warcraft? It makes everyone go WOW!!


Every now and then I would just open up my junk folder and view all those pictures I've taken and the memories overwhelm me like they always do. I capitulate to the very emotions and feelings that I felt during the moment - it's like those pictures came to life and I'm reliving it all over again. Some good, some bad and many sad. Hey it rhymes. Ahaks~ Damn.. I really do kinda miss those memories. Reflecting those changes in my life as I stare into the mirror of it makes me feel... old.

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lighting up the gates

Someone joked with me today, telling her friends that I'm like a kid - young and childish. Though it may sound negative to many, it made me happy for awhile. Well, that's was until I remembered my past, how I was so different last time. How anger and hatred made a bunch of mess. How temptation and sin made me stumble and crawl. How pain and reality made me grew too fast. Mannn.. How I wish I was a kid. How I wish I was young and gullible, naive to the world. Bleh~ Tough luck dude~! I'm old and that's the way it is.

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cheers to the big boys

Thursday, August 18, 2005

the day the ram died on poor-o me

Why isn't anything being displayed on the monitor? The agp was working fine before. Could it be the problem? No... No indiano... No... The answer sounded simple, your RAM is dead. For those non-tech junkies, RAM is a short for Random Access Memory. One of the most important component in a CPU. Without it, you're little com can't run, so stop kicking the poor bugger already would ya? *kicks*

the one thing i know

Here's a lo-down on the situation. I have two 512MB DDR-RAM (notice how by saying I have two 512MB instead of 1G sounds cooler?), one was originally bought together with the PC. The other was a 2nd hand RAM sold for dirt cheap price. Awww~ Come on'~ Who can say no to dirt cheap components, right? Anyways~ Having 1024MB of RAM in a CPU, one can see a serious significant speed increase in almost every aspect - absolutely zero-lag. Yay~

im more than useless

But having my luck, one of the RAM died on me, disabling my whole CPU to detect and run normally. The answer? New RAM larr~ Ahaks~ Went all the way to Viewcom and bought myself a new Kingston 512MB DDR RAM. Once again, the power of having 1024MB RAM shines on my computer. Congrats to Aaron who managed to fix his PC from of an over-clocking problem. I can be happy for now but...

and hoping for you to be my escape

I'm still waiting for my graphic cards to return to daddy. Yea~ Say my name dammit! Ahaks~ Once my AGP returns it will be the full spec of P42.8GHz, Kingston 1G RAM, and who can forget the soon-to-return ATI Radeon 9800pro 128MB. Everyone go, "Yummy!!".

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

indian snake boat races are ciplaks of chinese dragon boat races

As lazy as I naturally am, I don't really mind waking up for a 8am class though after having very little sleep the night before. But having to wake up my body (not my brain) and assiduously drag my butt down to class only to find out that the infamous 8am class has been cancelled from a comfortably sleeping friend (until i called him ofcourse.. ahaks~) really dropped the bomb on me. The suckier part was I woke up, it was still raining lightly. Picture that scenario and imagine my eager temptation. Too bad~ Should've just slept.

lame jokes and quick humour is all you need

By golly!! I'm not gonna let that stop me from having a good day. Nopeseerie~ I plan to send my broken, battered, and bruised computer to Viewcom and get it fix and by night, hopefully I'll also get to enjoy a good jamming session if all goes well. What happens after that? I dunno but lets just hope I'll still have fun. Yea~ Today is all about fun, fun, fun! Now say it quick; fun! fun! fun! Don't you feel motivated now? bleh~

live, life, love, lost? nahh~ just love

I'm glad a made a good choice picking Relient K over Kutless, though both are equally cool. I've heard Kutless style of music before and really enjoy its rap-rock portrayal. If I'm not mistaken, they won the Best New Artist Award or something like that on their first album. Though I'm not tired of rock but I guess I wanted to catch up on the Christian punk rock scene. Relient K fits that role perfectly. Ofcourse there are other bands like Dogwood and Hangnail but for now, it's Relient K for me.

Relient K
High of '75

We were talking together
I said, "What's up with this weather?"
Don't know whether or not
How sad I just got
Was on my own volition
Or if I'm just missing the sun

And tomorrow I know
Will be rainy at best
And the forecast I know
Is that I'll be depressed
But I'll wait outside
Hoping that I'll catch sight of the sun

Because on and off
The clouds have fought
For control over the sky
And lately the weather has been so bi-polar
And consequently so have I

But now I'm sunny with a high of 75
Since you took my heavy heart and made it light
And it's funny how you find you enjoy your life
When you're happy to be alive

And the temperature is freezing
And then after dark
There's a cold front
Sweeping in over my heart
And we might break up
If I don't wake up to the sun

Because on and off
The clouds have fought
For control over the sky
And lately the weather has been so bi-polar
And consequently so have I

But now I'm sunny with a high of 75
Since you took my heavy heart and made it light
And it's funny how you find you enjoy your life
When you're happy to be alive

Monday, August 15, 2005

im high

Happy Bithday Mom!! Hope you had a blast last night. Though I must say, it's bro's idea all the way. I'm just the loser tagging along. Ahaks~ But seriously, thank you for everything mom. Without you we wouldn't be here. Yes dad, you contributed too. Thanx for being patient through all those hard days, long nights, and crazy fights. You're faith in God and love for Him is an inspiration to us all. Love you more than you can imagine. Happy Birthday once again and more to come.

its sunny with a high

Just to clear things up, I didn't smoke any crack or anything like that, thank you. Ahaks~ Just wanna say that I'm happy to be alive. As much as who I am now, hates who I've been, I'm glad I'm not my old self. Still, why am I happy? Because someone took my heavy heart and made it light. Now I'm so high on the sky, light as a feather. Though tomorrow will rain and there're signs that I'll be depressed, I'll wait outside to catch the sun.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Bowling For Soup : yesterday was the best day of my life

Thank you, thank you, thank you, spank you~ A many many thank you's.

Yesterday went rather well. Okay, I lied. Yesterday went very well. Gotca there. Ahaks~ Though birthday was long over, a certain someone, lets call her Ger X. So you see, Ger X owed me a birthday treat. So yesterday, debts were paid - though I was the one driving. Weird huh? Bleh~ Still, it was all good. More like it was all great.

i owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend - relient k
interesting statement huh?

First off, Ger X, who it seems has never heard of Canaan Home, despite being a Malaccan for more than a year already, wanted to check out the place. So checking out was what we did. Luckily enough, I brought along extra cash because I knew I was gonna spend quite alot, trying to catch up with the CDs. Steven Curtis Chapman's Abbey Road Sessions on DVD and Switchfoot 3 CDs in One really caught my attention but unfortunately, my pockets weren't deep enough. So I settled for UNITED's L00K t0 YoU and Relient K's Mmhmm (yes, it's a cd title). Walked out of that place, semi-satisfied as I really wanted Steven Curtis Chapman's DVD and Switchfoot's 3 CDs. The problem; both cost a whopping RM65 respectively. *sigh* Too bad I didn't had enough cash that time.

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say cheeeeese~!!

Okay, our REAL first stop started off rather simple and sweet, like the way I like it - Ger X belanja'ed me Secret Recipe! Yeap~ You heard it right. It's the over-rated, bakery wannabe, high-class-cafe-thingy-that-sells-mee-goreng! How cool is that?! Wahahaa~ I'm trying to be sarcastic modest, but it seems I'm doing a really crappy job eh? Hehe~ Had a great time chatting and teasing her like always. Ahh~ The magic of two cheese cakes and cokes. Oh well, like always, it's not what you do, it's who you do it with.

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she didn't say cheese... -.-"

What followed was a small tour around the historical sights of Malacca. Really challenged my long forgotten Sejarah knowledge. Hmmmm~ I wonder if I got all the facts right.... Who cares? Bleh~ I remember the times when I went hiking up A'Famosa hill after mid-night for some so-called "ghost hunting" sessions with my buddies. Pretty cool sight of Malacca from up there but unfortunately, no ghost. Ahaks~

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a view from the hill - it rhymes

During MMUCF's Malacca Tour, those non-malaccans didn't get to enjoy the cool night life of our well-known pasar-malam Jonker Walk. Never been there? Picture Hollywood's Rodeo Drive and shrink it down to Malaccan size. Ahaks~ Showed her all the Chinese associations in Malacca and of course the all-famous Hakka Association. Pretty cool stuff down at Jonker that night. We had some star performance by the old aunties Make-A-Fool-Of-Me Sucky Karaoke Sessions. Evil... *grins*

strange but true enough, i guess i do

After that, we had a short one hour session of pool. Tried to teach her to play it properly but as usual, she didn't need any coaching - she kicked my groins. Every guy go "Ouch!". Ahaks~ She's pretty good for a beginner; managed to shoot in some pretty decent balls. I was actually quite surprise how well she knew her balls. Either that, or those balls really love her. The balls betrayed me. Okay~ That sounds VERY wrong. *smiles*

i do owe it all to him and owe it all to her

Just as we thought we had nothing else better to do, WeeD called and invited us to go to Alor Gajah's famous natural hot springs with the rest of the KonnManns. Now, who can say no to that? Took Ger X to her home for her to pack her stuff (yes, she came along too). Was hoping she brought along her two piece or a bikini - but I guess t-shirt and pants will suffice. Ahaks~ Had an awesomely fun and seriously tiring time there. Went back full of satisfaction and lack of sleep. In the end it's still the same, it's not what you do, it's who you do it with that matters.

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Ger X, babu, guang yeow

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guang yeow's bro, weed

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sumen, sotong

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lovely couple no?

Unforgettable~ Many thank to those who help in making this day a success.
I REALLY WANT Steven Curtis Chapman and Switchfoot. *sigh*

Saturday, August 13, 2005

when the 13th is the day after tomorrow

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mah jong, beers and drummet : the best way to end a birthday?

Yare'~ Yare'~ August is seriously a month filled with birthdays. There's so many birthdays on this month, so much so it makes me feel not special anymore. *looks to the floor*

seven years later he works as a waiter

Go ahead Stef, make a witty remark on my above statement. I know you want to. You can't resist insulting me, can you. Ahaks~ Birthdays are quite hectic these days. The older you get, the more complicated choices of types of birthdays you have to choose. What are you gonna do? Where do you wanna eat? Where are you celebrating? Who are you celebrating with? How many friends are you gonna call? Who's gonna pay for it? It almost feels as if they're planning a wedding or something. Guess that's being modern and sophisticated for you.

have i waited too long?

I prefer those birthdays I had when I was younger. Nice and simple. No choices, no hassle, just sit back and relax the whole day. Mom would bake a simple chocolate cake of which the I'll sabotage the timer, making it bake longer so that the outside crust will be nice and hard. Hmmm~ Shouldn't have leaked that out. Ahaks~ Later that night, it will definitely be a tradition to take the birthday boy/girl/man/women/uncle/aunty/grandpa/grandma/nenek moyang for a nice dinner at the place of their choice. Most of the time, we would go to our usual buffet at Carry On and bring along a bottle of fine red wine, also birthday boy's choice. Those were sweet times - though it became rather common and routine-like later on, we didn't really complain... I think. You guys didn't hear that from me okay? Hehe~

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take a side step buddy

Come to think of it, I can remember having a birthday party before. Or maybe I have but I just can't remember. I have a very bad sector up there. Lost a lot of information the last time it crashed. sigh~

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back to normal business.. wait- nothing happened in the first place!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

you freak

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unknown variables, class cards and greetings

Another birthday over, another year passed. 19th year to be precise. So what have I accomplish in 19 years so far? How much have I contributed to the community, to the nation? Yeah right~ Other than insignificantly help decrease the population of lizards, I don't think I've contributed much. But through 19 years of living, I feel old. Old, like how an elderly man would look upon the world. Old, like the bones in my body. Old, like a stained window piercing the soul.

i have always been the "its the thought that counts" type

I look back at the things that people give me as birthday presents. Some carry much meaning and emotions. Some gave hearty laughter and sincere joy. Others send love and warm reminders. Here are some of the memorable stuff that people gave me throughout my years of surviving the wild, ever twisting game of life.

dad: your fingers are bleeding son!
me: that's how you play the guitar larr dude~

Back in my earlier years of Form 3. I just turned 15 years old and my parents thought it was about time that I ditched that old Kapo guitar that's been cutting into my fingers for the past 3 years. They got me my first acoustic guitar, a Yamaha FG Series. They didn't want to release the price to me, but I managed to coaxed Un David to tell me the price. That piece of wood cost RM500++? Mann, was I very thankful. It gave my guitar playing life a big boost - think NO2.

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a konn mann's birthday present huh? great...

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The 88 comes with,
- Super Cas
- NOS system
- 900cc inter-cooler
- 17" sports rims
- GTi spoiler
- Rear and front skirt
- Sparco seats
- Mitsubishi Evo 9 engine
- 'P' sticker
- 700cc Turbo Cas

~yeahh baby~

2 years later in Form 5, my great buddies gave me a simple, yet very cool card for my birthday. Before that, they beat me up till my white prefect uniform was crumpled and dirty. Ahhh~ Nothing like a fresh beating early in the morning. The so-called card was made from a torn cover page of a standard exercise book but it meant a lot to me. I still keep it till now. I especially like the Super 88's drawing and specs and the lousy drawing that was supposed to be me.

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Spirito Italiano - 1896 Galliano

In my family, it's a tradition for us to take the birthday dude out for a nice dinner but last year, dad gave me something I didn't expected at all. He gave me a collection of great liquor. I remember that night clearly, he made me do some sort of mini-treasure hunt which led me to the freezer. Inside was 2 National Lampoon DVDs. Great show~ Then the small piece of paper led me into my room, where all the real cool stuff were waiting for me. Great birthday present.

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~Band of Brothers~
From left to right,                           
Smirnoff Vodka, Martini Rosso, Highland Queen Whisky 1893
Martini Vermouth - Extra Dry, Bacardi Superior, Gordon's London Dry Gin

What about this year? How did my birthday ended this year? Did I get what I wished for? Honestly, I got what I wished for, even before my birthday and I will hold on to it dearly. It's a great wish and a great "present" too. Glas1 CG gave me hearty meal at Loi's Bak Kut Teh, one of the best Bak Kut Teh you can find in Malacca. But CP gave me the best present this year. She gave me a brand new Lizard wallet! Cooool~!! I've been wanting a new wallet and she hit the spot with it. Guessed she hoped that by holding this Lizard wallet, I would go easy on those poor buggers. Sorry ger, no can do - I'm still gonna take them down and out. Ahaks~

Thanx peeps. Happy Birthday Andrew Liu Teck Ming aka WontdieonE~

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im a chinese rocker. got a problem with that, punk?

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i dont skate but i guess it doesnt really matter

thanx for the great gift ah ger *bites*
~lots of love~

sorry, no apologies

Just yesterday, I received an unexpected post-card from Focus On The Family or FTF (sounds cooler), and it's definitely not about that Breakaway Magazine that I haven't been receiving since the end of the War Of Gibraltrar. Okay! Enough of Gundam Seed Destiny already dammit! Yea~ About FTF, the card seems to be some sorta keep-in-touch note by one of it's workshops that I took part a year ago. A workshop called No Apologies and it was held at my church.

..we were only freshmen..

So what is No Apologies all about? One word : abstinence baby~ Bold and beautiful; it is the most effective birth control method known to all mankind. Unlike Kok Wei's infamous line in IF Camp, "But I thought Durex was the best~", this method IS the best - and it's free too. Ahaks~

~I wrote a lame joke in this line but I took it off because it was too lame.

So the dude was talking about abstinence and how teen pregnancies are no longer common in the western society. Being in MMU clearly shows us that already. Open your eyes and you'll see enough. At the end of the talk and all the fun mini-games, they gave each of us a pair of cards, of which the participant and the their witness (youth leader or anyone accountable) signs on both cards. Then the participant takes a piece and the witness takes another. That card is a pledge card of abstinence and my witness was and still is Aunty Agnes - mother to the youth of Gateway Christian Fellowship.

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Dear Andre, ....... June 2005
we remember you - punk!

Fast forward a year later, they sent me a "hi, we still remember your sorry ass." card and they spelled my name as Andre. Andre as in Dr Dre's Andre kinda way. Another funny thing about that post card was the date. Written and sent on June 2005 but.... received on August the 10th. Proves to show how slow snail-mail is these days. Why don't they just change their engine or even slap on a Lv1 Turbo or something. Ahaks~

For a youth leader back then and even now, it's seriously very tough to be a good example. Given my bad past, dumb jokes, corrupted mind, and crazy attitude, it's hard for anyone to see or believe I'm one. Can't blame them though, even I can't believe I'm one. It was tough to back-slide and face many temptations back then. I regret doing a bunch of dumb things which change my life for the worse. Thankfully, there's always a second chance - there is always HOPE. Even now, I still have that pledge card tucked safely between the pages of my Bible. It's a bookmark for Ephesians 6:7. Read it up. Be a virgin, not a fool. Nites peeps~

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like a virgin huh?

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Saving Myself for Marriage
Believing in saving myself for marriage, I make a
commitment to myself, my family, my friends, my
future spouse and my future (many) children to be sexually
abstinent from this day onward until the day I enter
a lifelong, committed, monogamous marriage.

date: 06/06/04

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

final flight of osiris

Final paper for mid-term~ Whoohooo!! 8.30pm never looked the same again. Wish me luck peeps (assuming that you manage to read this before 8.30pm larr). Ahaks~

tammy and the cockroaches

paparoach : who's your daddy? who's your daddy?!!

Results for Data Structure & Algorithm are out. I'm a little disappointed with how I fare. No matter how many times I look at that darn paper, I still can't believe my eyes. I honestly felt I could've done better, but I guess everyone had those days of inferiority and inadequacy - we are just not good enough.

stare into my eyes and see..

But it's funny how we would try our best efforts to motivate others not feel that way, trying to bring up their spirits and brighten their spirits but we ourselves are sunken beneath that horde of depression. *sigh~* I just hope I can do better for today's test. Object Orientated Programming. It strikes fear into the hearts of many who dread its presence and fear its name.

..the reasons we hold, the reasons we share~

Luckily for me, I have my trump card ready during the test. I've got it all planned out, or at least I think I have. In case of emergency, where by my mind goes blank and the program just wouldn't run in my Pentium 2 brain, stand on chair and scream lungs out, "EXCALIBURRR!! BEEE MY STRENGTH!!". Continue laughing maniacally till dragged into the back of ambulance. Great strategy huh?

i know, i know.. i owe you a pic~ *smiles*

CF was rather funner (the word funner does not exist. thank you) than usual. Okay~ So I'm saying that just because Pastor Joshua aka PJ to the Gatewayians came to preach to us today about the 3rd Commandment. PJ rawks!! A many thanx to CF for that nicelittlecakethatwassharedwithsomanypeopleididntevengettoenjoyit. Ahaks~ I kid, I kid. It's too bad though. Someone couldn't make it as study was more important in that situation. Having mid-term paper on Friday can do wonders to your stress.
Try it today!! Mid-term Test : The Stress Maker.

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picking up from me huh? well, bugs are no fun! bleh~ go lizards

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

orange juice will get you drunk

My suckiness in Discrete Structure was worse than expected. Yea~ I did bad this time. Looks like I'm gonna have to tell my parents in the morning, "Dad.. Mom.. I think I made a boo boo...". Don't I sound cute when I say that? Ahaks~ My only points for grace is that the hard part is over. Now I can start relaxing for my paper on Wednesday. Waahahahaha~ I hope I won't do badly after saying such a thing. That would suck even more huh? But I really do like programming subjects and I plan to really score in this subject, so wish me luck guys.

it is not what you do...

Lately, I've been noticing how Astro has warped the regular boring life of my family into a more fun-filled daily activity! Yeah right~ We're still the same fat, lazy, bunch of old kids wearing our boxers and running around stark-naked. No change in that eh? Makes me recall an old dream I had. I dreamt I was sleeping in my underwear. All the sudden, I woke up and started jogging around my taman in my undies. Yea~ It would be fun if I really did such a thing. I bet my fab body would turn a few many grannies' chun chicks' head.

it is who you do it with~

I've had fun tonight. Tonight as in very early this morning. Uh... It's more like last night but it's already passed 12am and so it qualifies for a new day... Whatever~ That dumb malay fruit cake juice stall. It was only 1am something and they were almost sold out? How can you not foreseen thirsty youths such as ourselves would be dying for a taste of ultimate fruitness. Okay~ That place is so over-rated. Gotta bring it down a little. It sucked.

~thank you gal~

The number 88 has never been better. I reminisce about my high school days whenever I look at the number 88. It holds a special meaning back then and especially now. *smiles* My first motorbike was a very old kapchai, a Yamaha Super 88. It's the bike that made me so-called famous with my many accidents and stunts back then. With only a 80cc engine, many wouldn't even look twice outwardly but unknown to many and I even sometimes wonder myself, this baby can drag its way up to 110kmh without even flinching one bit. Every morning I would zoom pass the traffic and power-slide my bike in front of the coffee shop, Lake Village. People who hear the sound of tire skidding would know I had arrived. My most fond memory was me using that bike and somehow managed to beat a 125z on a street run. Poor guy~ Lost all his spirit after that day. Every single friend I have in high school would definitely remember above all, The Black Box of 88. Enough of history kays? Ahaks~ Good night peeps. This paragraph is dedicated to all sc2 and ridermaut gang.

Monday, August 08, 2005

a song that meant so much to someone

Good luck to those who are sitting for their mid-term thingy. Say good bye to your sweet sweet, blissful one-week-holiday. Wake up from that dream, rise from your slumber - life is ready to smack your face. With a 9am paper coming, I doubt you will read this before your paper but it doesn't matter now, does it? So many hours in between 9am and 8pm. In that period of time, would you wish me luck and pray for me as I would for you? My innocence can never last.


Oh paper on Monday and Wednesday~ Why didn't you appear before the holiday? Why did you take my summer away? Like a withered leaf I crumble and fall. Wishing good bye as I lean on the wall. Wishing the best, I left a call. Writing and singing, like an artist in the rain. I dance amidst the drops of water and paint. Paint the beauty before me. Paint the beauty that my eyes can see. Paint you? Yes, you. I stand in the rain but the rain will not wet me. I sing but the voices fails me. Why, oh why do I take my nap? Oh paper on Monday and Wednesday~ You make me write like crap.

Don Mclean
Starry Starry Night

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand

Now I understand what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night
You took your life, as lovers often do
But I could have told you, Vincent
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you

Starry, starry night
Portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless head on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget
Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in the ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will

Sunday, August 07, 2005

what a week.. what a week indeed..

The one week mid-term break is over. Herds of MMU students flock to their respective apartments and rented houses. EP is bustling with life once again and the crappy foodstall owners wide-smile is switched on, hoping to attract young, hunger, malnourish under-grads with their expensively cheap food. Life has return to Bukit Beruang. Walking pass any group of students, you can hear them talking about what they did during their short-lived break while others aren't as happy as their counter-parts. Those who are still having their mid-term test aren't really in a much jovial mood. As for me, I have two more papers; one on Monday and another on Wednesday. A very nice touch indeed.

Lets recap the fun things that I've done and gone through this whole week.
~ Stress..
~ Pressure..
~ Tension..
~ Stress again..
~ Lizard killing..
~ Body aching..
~ Depression..
~ Stress yet again..

Basically, that's pretty much it. Now ain't that fun? Truthfully, my body is still a little weak but I think I can hold the fort for awhile. I'm quite experience in pushing my body over its limits. After posting this, I'm gonna grab some dinner. Hopefully it won't turn out as bad as I fear it would. It's difficult to hold your spirit when you're already so weak, I'm like a candle in the calm before the storm.

I'm a fool..

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had char siew fan for lunch 4 days in a row

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i tried to catch the sun.. but it caught me instead

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a kitten was ran over by an iswara.. the mother tried to wake the kitten up
~she failed~

Saturday, August 06, 2005

the (shoulder) killers


This is the 3rd entry with that same title. The difference? My right shoulder's the one getting the beating. Yeah~ I reminisce the days when I was young and vibrant. My mind pictures a healthy primary school me. Hands touched both sides of the vertical post, focused only on one primary objective: to prevent the ball from entering the goal. I was a good goal keeper, or atleast I think I was. I was confident I could keep the ball away from the goal - I was a daredevil.

Opposition's striker coming for the kill. Like a chicken trying to fly, he jumps over the defenders who swore to protect me with their lives. *spits on palm OS* Steven Curtis's Bring It On playing in my mind. I whispered, "bring it on.. punk-". The striker swerved from side to side, trying to confuse my unconfusable mind.

note: unconfusable doesn't exist. thank you~

*koff! koff! karrh@$&&!! chew.. chew.. ptuii!!* Yellow phlegm wobbled among the blade of grass. Striker's foot stomping the ground sent shockwaves to spectators. The climax was near. *smiles* Striker was going to enter the D-box. Catching my queue from the director, Steven gave the go-ahead. I ran. Ran like the wind cutting the clouds.

*slow-motion starts*

Goal keeper diving at the ball..

Striker trying to score a goal..

Keeper knew Striker couldn't enter the goal..

Striker had no chance but still charged for a kick and let it go..

Keeper caught hold of the ball in a single, *ahem* cool move..

Striker didn't pull back kick..

Keeper saw big football shoes coming head on to Keeper's face..

Keeper tried to evade handsome face from being squashed..

Striker leg lands hard on Keeper's left shoulder..

*slow-motion ends - fading to darkness*

And that's how I got a big boo-hoo on my left shoulder. Couldn't even lift my left hand not to mention even write. I know, I know.. I'm a right hander - don't have to remind me.


You see, the first line talks about my RIGHT shoulder not my LEFT. Ahhh~ Conspiracy.. Actually, I did go through that shit back in primary school days and I also did suffer a big boo-hoo on my right shoulder too. Yeah~ I reminisce the days when I was young and vibrant...... Okay, lets not go into another long, boring story shall we? Ahaks~ Cut long story short, I somehow injured my right shoulder badly in one of my accidents during secondary school life.

the tension is here

If you observe my sexy fat-ass'ed body, you would notice that I have more scars on the right side of my body than my left. The reason is quite simple actually. You see, the bike's rear break is controlled by the right foot. Should I ever get into a accident leading situation, I would slam my rear breaks, power-slide with my left foot scrapping the road and avoid whatever obstacle that is in front of me.

stomach is grumbling

The problem comes when I have to slide to the right. To power-slide I have to put one foot on the ground so that I won't fall. But I can't perfectly power-slide to the right because I have to keep my right foot on the breaks and I have nothing to keep me from falling. Picture this - again.

Car slams into me. Bike falling on left side - GOOD.
Car slams into me. Bike falling on right side - BAD, REALLY BAD.

To end this dumb boring post. That's how I injured my right shoulder.

Okay~ I lied. I'm not gonna end it yet. I still wanna rant about how I woke up due to the sudden jolt of pain on my right shoulder. It felt like a knife was stuck in between my shoulder joint but the shoulder just wouldn't fall off. Yeah~ It sucked alot. As if having to carry that awesome pain all day wasn't enough, I couldn't sleep at all the whole Thursday night because of it too. It really drove me nuts. By 7am, mom was awake and I went to her for advice.

Here's the suckier part. If I take painkillers, I would definitely fall sick later but I'll lose the pain, enabling me to sleep. My body is somehow allergic to the painkillers. So the choice was between pain or sickness. Guess which I chose..

having fever sucks..

Friday, August 05, 2005

im not a sadist - im.. special... : episode 2

a moment of silence for barney: the gay-purple dino

Okay, it's been quite some time since I caught a lizard, torture it and kill it. Since my dad's Snapping Turtle came into the family portrait, I would spare the poor, defenseless lizard and give the pitiful bugger a snapping-quick death. See, I DO have GOOD in me after all. Ahaks~ The last time I caught and tortured a lizard was.. well, long enough. Lucky me Unlucky it, by chance I caught an innocent (yeah right) lizard lurking in the kitchen area. From it's missing and slowly growing-back-tail, I suspected it to be one of the (very, very) few survivors of my hunting attempts.

im bigger than you! im higher in the food-chain! GET IN MY BELLY!
~fat bastard~ (yea, that's his name)

So about this lizard that I caught, I gave it a name - Barney actually. *smiles* I stumbled upon Barney by pure luck and chance, on my side at least - I dunno if he calls this "luck". Watching Astro can really make a guy thirsty. After all, they were showing The Art Of Seduction on National Discovery. See kids, National Discovery IS educational after all. Ahaks~ Walking to the kitchen to take a drink, I saw Barney on the wall behind the mineral water pot-thingy. In my mind, I knew I had a really low chance of catching it but as luck would have it, it dropped right into my hands - literally. Sweet huh? Save me much unwanted trouble.

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Took some tissue paper as base for Barney's.. um.. coffin or whatever. Mom helped to fold the tissue paper too - love ya mums~! Taped Barney on his soon-to-be death bed. Made sure he had a first-class treatment, comfy in every sadistically satisfying single way. Barney had little complains. Which was good because I wanted to watch the all-educational programme on TV. He was restless at first but after I assured him that I'll be back, he just laid there like a good d- uh.. lizard.

After learning the secrets of seducing women who are totally out of my league, I realize that I'm not good at seduction at all. If asked to rate my sexiness at a scale of 1 to 10, women would give 'C' as an answer. Ahaks~ So Back To Barney (i could make a show with that title). When I went to check on how he was doing, he gave a thumbs up - I really like his enthusiasm.

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Normally I would just electrocute them to death or electrocute them, THEN burn them to death. Since Barney has a name, I thought I would do something special for him. I picture Barney chocking on something painful, like iodine or something like that. Since mom wouldn't let me use her medical stuff for my own research (she's just jealous that i'm special), I had to come up with an alternative. I remembered bro having a bottle of normal saline for his ol' contact lenses. Normal saline is actually, well, salt water but more hygienic. Yeah~ Basically that.

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Opening Barney's mouth proved more difficult than I anticipated. The letter openner with a horse head didn't do the trick. I needed something more down to earth.

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In a bright light appeared the cute, red little screwdriver. Problem solved.

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Barney seeing that I was using the proper tool, open his mouth willingly.

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Normal saline didn't really do the trick - sadly. I needed something with more "oomph!"

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Mom told me, "why waste normal saline when you have real salt in the kitchen?". Now everyone can know why love my mom so much. She's such an angel.

I left Barney to finish off my night coffee. When I came back, to my dismay, he was still alive - begging me to give him an easy death. *ding* I decided to give him a honourable death, just like his predecessors.

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Remember me? The Great Zippo Lighter Refill and the Clicking-Fire-Making thingy.

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When I was pouring the Zippo refill on the coffin, Barney felt comfortable and thus, took the chance that now the tape has no effect due to the flammable liquid that it came in contact with, decided to break free - or so he thought.

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BOOM!! Barney is on fire!! He's so hot, he burn his momma giving birth!

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If you must know, my mom thinks that he smells burnt - I agreed with her. Duh~
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as a fact.