Sunday, April 30, 2006

| my passion cry

Remember when you first step into university? With all that adrenaline pumping in your veins, getting all excited with the unfolding of a new chapter of your life. Yea.. I still remember it all so clearly. Just like I remember how I first picked up my guitar. I was only 12 years of age and it was a Kapo, a classical guitar with steel strings that can really cut your skin. Well, it is to be expected. After all, the guitar cost a mere RM80. That was my first guitar. Actually, it wasn't my first. It was my bro's guitar, I just borrowed it. With two great people teaching me the basics of playing the guitar, I have no idea that I was venturing into something that will be part of my life, forever.


My first guitar is a Yamaha F-330 that cost RM300. It was the happiest day of my life. I was finally able to be rid of that meat cutting Kapo and now able to practice and play on a 'real' guitar. With it I served in Kid's Church in Gateway Christian Fellowship, which will be the main ground of my soon-to-be church serving days. Told myself that I would use this gift given by God to serve Him and Him alone.


Fast forward 2 years later. I made a lot of progress; before I knew it, I was holding chords that never could have when I first started off. I was glad. Soon I told my father that I would like to buy a guitar that I can keep for the rest of my life. I needed an instrument that would allow me to play my best, to give my best to God. I am an instrument of God in need of an instrument to be an instrument of God. Sounds complicated eh? ahaks~ After much searching, testing, trying and saving. I settled for my beloved Yamaha DWX 10-C. Yeap, it's the guitar in the background picture. A whopping RM1800 and my bank became so dry, the walls cracked. Oh yea, the hard-case cost RM300 so that makes it all together RM2100. Yay~ Despite the price, it's one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life of screw-ups.


I served in my youth as faithful as I can. I came to learn what it means to be watched by people. I learn to fall and fail badly. I learn how to rise once again. I learn what it means to love the young people. I learn to swallow my pride. I learn to be a leader. We were called GY or Gateway Youth. We had our own room with murals and pictures all over. Had a good P.A. system and fabulous friends. I still remember those night practices and dinner at Fajar's Mc Ds. I miss you Alan Teh. Oh yea, I got my electric guitar, RM1400, multi-effects, RM900, and an amplifier, RM600. I only paid half but dad was kind enough to help with the rest. Thanks dad~

Went to Tampin yesterday with a team of musicians and friends. As I went up the van, memories of a similar trip with my youth to Kota Bahru and KL flashed before me. We talked nonsense throughout the journey and they laughed at my lame jokes. I laughed. Living Waters AOG. A big church with few in numbers. God must have surely bless them a lot. I came expecting nothing. But as I stood among the congregation, as I played, I recall what it is to serve God. I remember what it is to worship God. I remember why I picked up that guitar. I remember why I love what I love to do. Because I love to worship God.

Oh, how I long to feel that feeling once again. Oh, how I yearn to feel that heat, to be that flame, to join that fire. How I long to worship You oh God. How I long to worship You. You took the weight of the world on Your shoulders. I stand on Your shores and Your waves overcome me. I love You. Oh how I love You. This is my passion. This is my cry.


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