I'm in pain - pain that's immeasurable. I wonder why I try. Try so hard to make things right. Try so hard to help that I sacrifice myself. Try so hard that I hurt myself. Am I wrong? Was she right? What did I do? Why is my body broken? Why is my heart cut opened? Nothing I do can seem to take the pain away. I haven't eaten anything. I can't seem to swallow the food in front of me. What's this feeling? How can it elevate from anger to pain? Why pain? I deserved it. I deserved everything.
The pain in my back is my lesson. The pounding in my head is my reminder. I persist. I didn't give up. The pain hurts more. Each strike sends a shockwave through my body till I fall on my knees, beating the temples on my forehead. In the corner of my room, on the cold floor I'm crippled - owing every mistake to myself. Battered and consumed by my own hatred. Tear drops fall down. I wiped them off quickly.
I'm strong dammit! I'm heartless am I not?! I've hurt countless of people! The blood on my hands is my excuse!
And I regret it dearly. I'm on the edge. Hanging on to only a small piece of rock that I seem to have forgotten about. Truly I'm lost and confused. I can't take this abuse. I'm blind in a world full of light. And for all that I did, I deserve this night. I deserve it all. I'm angry and hurt. I've caused anger and hurt.
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