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Monday, June 13, 2005

the beginning of the end




Wow.. 2 months.. over.. so.. fast.. Yay~! Finally, I'll be able to concentrate on getting a higher CGPA! Right..

The whole holiday was full of beginnings and, well, ends. A lot has happen in the 2 months. Lots of quick and rather harsh decisions for various reasons was made. Now that the CF Orientations are over I don't have much to do on Saturday and Sunday. In fact, I felt bored but I took the opportunity to glance back on what I've done and accomplished in the 2 months.

I took a personality test which I, by the way, still laugh whenever I read about my personality. "Chances are you were the class clown." Who can deny that huh? Ahaks~ But while reading my personality and reflecting on my past decisions, I had a really cold shiver that went down my spine. Being one who thinks based on facts and known knowledge, who strives to understand human behavior, I doubted my decisions. I doubted my actions. And I realize that the I've caused a lot of trouble for many people just because I myself was facing a difficult time.

I just wish that the end of my holidays will mark the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I hate reading my life and I bet many people do too. I especially hate the part when I hurt others so much, just because they don't understand my actions. Still, I am to be blame for initiating it in the first place. My father would say, "don't start something you can't finish". How true those words hold in my heart yet I fail to hold them true. Irony.

Diploma in IT, 2nd year, 4th semester. Andrew Liu Teck Ming. Mann.. I must be really dumb not to be able to enter Alpha. Or atleast that's how I feel. Haha.. I really do have a long way to go. Okay, I admit, this whole post is crap and is full of junk.




I feel so alone.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Andrew, it's brave of u to reflect on ur past, it's somethin that i'll never be able to do.
I hardly see you with negative feelins, this is a moment that i should remember. =P
Hope to see you in CF tonites. =)

WontdieonE said...

ofcourse im brave! wahahahaha~ but they are scars and the scars reminds me that the past is real. *winks*

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