choices.. the choices.. sigh

What should I do? Man, oh man. What should I do..

Should I confront them and fight for the truth? Should I fight for what I believe to be right? Would they listen to me? Would they agree with me? I’m still angry for the things he said, for the things he accused me off. Yea.. I’m still pissed with the words that he chose to stab me, for the lousy and fake excuse of “protecting me”, and most of all, twisting the words from Corinthians. I used to respect him for the service he did but now, I guess I don’t anymore.

But if I do confront him with it again and fight for it, I would make the issue bigger just as he did. Most probably the matter wouldn’t be resolved at all. They would still think of me as that and it would just be another skirmish that would tarnish my family’s name though my parents are supporting me through all this crap. What should I do?

Should I just leave that place for good and go to CCC? That seemed to be the favourable choice. Avoid conflict and leave my reputation there. Surrounded by the comfort of many good friends and loved ones, it seems to be the attractive alternative, the peaceful solution. Start afresh and anew. Leave the old me behind once again and turn over a new leaf.

But if I do leave, they would REALLY think I’m wrong. “He left because he knows we are right”. In their mind, I would remain “wrong” and cowardice. They would think because I’ve sinned, that’s why I left. Bah~! But I’m not worried about that. I’m more worried about leaving my sister and best friend behind. I fear for them because if they would be the next to get shot at, I can’t be there for them. My best-friend has already felt the heat while my sister is still oblivious to it. What should I do?

admiration can lead you away from the truth
~Captain Aizen Sousuke~