rinyu - repetition

I didn't sleep the whole Saturday night and it felt rather strange. I was watching my old Full Metal Panic? fumoffu anime till it was around 3am. After that, when I tried to sleep, I couldn't. The first few minutes felt like an eternity of lying on my bed, doing absolutely nothing. Frustrated, I walked to the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee to help me sleep. Crash the bed again - still couldn't sleep. Now that's weird.

3.45 am

I lay there motionless; my body felt like it was slowly falling down a dark spiral. My shouts for help were silent screams. It was as if the darkness formed a sort of vacuum. I watched as my hands turned from light brown, fade to grey. Soon it was complete darkness. My fist slammed against the wall and I find myself on my bed again. I hope it doesn't repeat. I wasn't afraid but instead, I was annoyed.

4.20 am

Unable to cope with the silence, I picked my guitar up and strum a few chords. No song in particular except one - worlds apart by jars of clay. It was the concert version where there was only one guitar plucking the song. Soon myriads of memories crossed over each other. I remembered how I bought the album from Un Nelson at Canaan Home. Thinking of the album my thoughts brought me forward to the time I was in K.L. and how I struggled to find Switchfoot's latest album, The Beautiful Letdown. I recalled that I went there with SP, a girl whom I silently miss. I remember the fond memories, the laughter and the tears she shed. Frustration and anger at myself.

6.15 am

There's a cat making noise at the back of my house. At first the noise didn't seemed to bother me until I started thinking about it. I imagined a cat giving birth to a cute little kitten and that same little kitten was chasing after a small lizard. I appeared in front of the lizard, caught it, set it on fire and watched as it runs around in agony and pain. The kitten laughed. There I was on my bed. Thinking about crap and imagining nonsense, aggravating myself for no reason - I laughed.

7.20 am

Was trying to count how many ticks are there from the clock on my wall. 60 ticks. I slapped my forehead and bit my arm. Slapped my forehead again because I bit too hard. Switched on the room light and I was eloped by the brightness. It was as if someone threw a flashbang right in front of me. I hate it when they do that. I started to count the scars on my body instead. 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 17.. 21.. *pauses* The number doesn't seem to have any end. Feeling frustrated I sat up and peered into the mirror in front of me. *gasp!!*

Me